


It’s Always Been You

by sweetelegy



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Business Major Choi Soobin, Childhood Memories, Dance Major Choi Yeonjun, First Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, The Author Has an Apparent Obsession Over Electric Blue Hair Choi Yeonjun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:00:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22898392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetelegy/pseuds/sweetelegy
Summary: Soobin was so adamant to find his first love, but Yeonjun wished that the other would just forget about it and start looking at him instead.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 62
Kudos: 318





	1. Is It You?

**Author's Note:**

> The arrow before the story is telling when the story takes time.
> 
> »»» Present
> 
> ««« Past
> 
> Hope it’s not confusing and you could enjoy the story ❤️

The rain wouldn’t stop pouring even after hours it had showered down the city. Soobin hated rain, because it meant that the sky was turning dark, and he hated darkness, also he didn’t bring his umbrella with him this time.

Soobin gave out a long sigh for the nth time, feet kept hitting on the pavement ground, resulting a steady tapping sound when his shoes met the hard surface, just like a clock that was ticking every time the second passed by as he counted the moment for the rain to finally stop. 

However the rain still didn’t stop. He mentally noted to never easily trust the high percentage of weather forecast, solely because the chance of raining should be only twenty one percent this afternoon. Though he should have known better, a chance was still a chance, it might happen even within the lowest probability.

He was this close to call it quit, since he was already twenty minutes late by the time his class was over. He wanted to tell the other but it seemed like fortune was unwilling to embrace him today. His phone died and he didn’t bring its charger with him. He groaned out of exasperation for countless times in the span of six hours already. Today definitely wasn’t his day.

Soobin was never a risk taker, but he was contemplating enough to take it though, since he already promised Daehwi to meet him at the coffee shop at Gwanak-gu; near his apartment building, forty minutes ago, and the rain didn’t give any sign to please his desire. So he took a step out of the roof shade of the bus shelter, eventually letting the rain reached out to his embrace while silently praying that his bag was enough to protect his borrowed library books inside from the heavy rain.

“Jihoon!”

A sudden voice shouted from the distance that made Soobin freeze on his step, standing upright upon hearing it. It was like his nerves had been trained for so long to respond to the said stimulant. He turned his body hurriedly, searching for the source of the said voice.

“Jihoon-ah!” 

There was the same voice, louder this time. Soobin squinted his eyes, focusing both his vision and hearing to the sound, finally found its source which was a guy who shouted that name, approaching another guy in a long brown coat standing at the bus shelter he was under before.

Upon within the chaos inside his mechanism, Soobin ran over to the supposedly Jihoon guy without much thought. But maybe God eventually took a pity of him, as if didn’t want to embarrass him any further by giving him a total wreck today, because the next second the guy shouted again.

“Yoon Jihoon!”

Soobin stopped from running, standing in the middle of vast pedestrian with not so many people on it because of the heavy rain. He had never wanted to melt joining into a puddle of rain before, but for now it seemed so to consider the choice as the said guy was not the Jihoon he was searching all along. 

A loud sigh escaped as he was unable to hold it anymore after looking over himself. He was doomed. His bag was as drenched as his clothes, and a drenched bag with library books inside was never a good sign.

  
  
  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  
  
  


People said life was like a plain blank paper at first. It was our purpose to fill it with inks we wanted to project to our lives. We could draw lines, shapes, or even write words, numbers, everything—anything, no up to any limitations.

Therefore for Soobin, that was the reason why his life was a book with thousand pages of papers full of scribbles with the same letters every time the page was turned. 

The difference would only be how bold the ink looked, the pressure of each line changed based on the way he felt at the moment. Sometimes it was a faint line, most of the times it was so strong, that everyone could see what the letters said even within far proximity. However all of them were still the same letters, never changed even for once, all which could only read as; Park Jihoon. 

It was silly, absurd you could say, how the name left too much space in his life that nobody could ever enter to replace the significance.

There was not much memories he could retract either, it actually happened only once, in a mere of seconds. Long before he could understand what he felt, long before he could even understand anything. It happened almost a decade ago which he should have forgotten already at this point. But he didn’t. Though it was a simple quick encounter, that was enough for Soobin to engrave the name forever.

  
  
  
  
  


«««

  
  
  
  
  


The bell rang throughout the school to announce that the break time was over. Students were running down the hallway to get to the next class without being late, after completely ignoring the previous bell which already rang to inform them that they only had 5 minutes left for the break, enough time for them to prepare so they could get ready for the next class. 

However kids were just being kids. They still preferred to use all the time they had to just play with their friends. And Soobin was no exception. 

6th grader Soobin was running back to the music room hurriedly to get his book, as he remembered he left it there because he was being too excited to show the new Nintendo 3DS his father just bought him to his friends. 

He arrived into the room with a ragged breath. He planned to get the book as fast as he could, then running back to his class before Mr. Kim came. Mr. Kim was a fun teacher, but he hated tardiness, and Soobin didn’t want to insert himself in his favorite’s teacher’s blacklist at anytime.

The music room should be empty, but instead he saw someone playing the piano at the corner of the room. He tried to recognize who the person could be, but easily failed. Though he wouldn’t be able to know anyway since he just moved to Seoul last month. But looking at the long trousers uniform he wore, the guy was probably older than him. 

He was mesmerized, listening to the piece playing by the piano intently. Soobin admitted, he wasn’t really that good playing any kind of instruments, but he had memorized every pieces he was taught to. And this piece that the guy was playing, was so foreign to him. He never heard of it before.

It sounded so beautiful. There was a funny feeling on his chest, like something was tingling and taking his breath away. He didn’t understand what he felt. He thought he was just exhausted from all the running, so he just shrugged it off.

It wasn’t his intention at all, but he eventually stayed for don’t know how long, definitely longer than he should. Because the next thing he heard was Daehwi’s loud voice from the hallway, which was telling him to get faster since the next class would start, and he could see Mr. Kim walking out of the teachers’ room.

Soobin was brought to real life after following his thoughts wandering around, surprised. He shook his head, then walked backwards quickly without any much thought, unfortunately crashed a table in the way, tripped himself, and fell down to the floor. 

The guy stopped playing, peering his gaze off the piano to look at the commotion. Soobin could see how the other’s eyes widened, hurriedly walking closer, crouching down to help Soobin.

Living his 10 years life, Soobin might have not seen so many people in his life before, but he could swear that the guy in front of him was so handsome. The most handsome even. Something tugged on his chest, with the same tingly feeling coming from before. _What is this?_ He thought silently. The close proximity made his face went warm, so he quickly shied away. 

“Are you okay?” The guy asked worriedly. 

Soobin was too far too embarrassed to answer, so he just nodded. The guy helped him to stand at the same time he heard Daehwi calling out his name again from outside. So he thanked the guy and bid a goodbye faster than the speed of light. Soobin didn’t ask for the guy’s name, all he remembered was the yellow hoodie he wore, and the strange tingly feeling the other brought to him.

  
  
  
  
  


«««

  
  
  
  
  


The school was finally over. Soobin followed Daehwi who was already walking down the stairs hastily towards the field to join the others playing soccer. But as he started peeling off his bag, he heard loud voices coming from the direction of the gate. He waved at Daehwi to come closer from behind the bush, “Daehwi come here!”

“What?” Daehwi shouted, resulting a hand landed on his mouth. “Be quiet!” Soobin whispered, while pulling the other to hide behind the bush.

He turned his body to look over the five older guys near the gate and went crouching down immediately. “Daehwi, do you know them?”

He didn’t know why he had to hide, but Daehwi joined Soobin crouching down anyway. “Yes, they used to study here but they graduated last year. Why?”

“Can you look at the one who wears yellow hoodie? Who is he?” Soobin asked expectantly.

Daehwi was trying to stand up to see the guy the other meant clearly. “Hey!” Soobin whispered a bit too loud. “Please just keep hiding!”

Daehwi didn’t listen to him and proceeded to stand still while Soobin was crouching down behind the bush, too scared to even look over the gate anymore. “Oh, that’s Park Jihoon Sunbaenim.” He stated, while furrowing his eyebrows. “Why are you asking me this?” Daehwi questioned him, but Soobin only smiled while muttering “Park Jihoon” over and over again.

  
  
  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  
  
  


Soobin thought in time he could finally forget it and just move on with his life. It was so childish, but everytime he heard someone calling out “Jihoon” wherever he was, he always stopped what he was doing to find the source of the supposedly Jihoon, only to realize it wasn’t the Park Jihoon he was searching for.

To be very honest, he didn’t even remember the face anymore, it was already a blur to him. What did he expect anyway? The interaction wasn’t even that long. Some other people who experienced the same frivolous thing would probably never think about it again even for once, as it was that insignificant to remember. Also it happened almost a decade ago, almost 10 years had passed since then. Soobin had been holding to the said memories half of his life.

All he got was Park Jihoon, his senior from Cheongdam-dong Elementary School, and just that, nothing more. He tried to search Park Jihoon on internet one day and he was astonished that there were so many people named Park Jihoon more than he could ever imagine. 

So he gave up searching, surrendering himself to where the faith could lead him at last. People said that if it was meant to be, it would be. And Soobin tried to hang on that, though he couldn’t lie, he was still hoping, that one day, he would meet him again. One day.

  
  
  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  
  
  


“What the hell happened to you?” was the first thing Soobin heard from his best friend after stepping into the coffee shop.

He chose the wooden chair instead of the couch, such a rare occasion, scared of his drenched clothes would give hell to it. “I don’t bring umbrella.”

The coffee shop was crowded, each tables were already taken by groups of people, meaning loud chatters were made out into his every sense, giving unclear sound of the heavy rain pouring down outside. He could see some people looking at the clock on the wall, then glancing to the scene outside more than once. It was as if they didn’t mean to sit around that long, but the rain confined them to stay within. 

“You could tell me, you know? We could just meet up some other time which was more convenient.” Daehwi scoffed, while his hands were rummaging inside his bag to find something for the other.

“I would have told you if I could.” He shook his head to rinse off his hair from some droplets of water. “But my phone died and I didn’t bring my charger.”

Daehwi mumbled some incoherent words, probably several curses to respond his idiocy, which luckily Soobin was too lazy to comprehend or retort back. He was too focused on how the air conditioner was too cold to his skin, making him start shivering, but he tried his best not to grit his teeth. He just continued shaking the water off his hair until he got thrown with a small towel right at his face.

“There, dry your ass while waiting for the valet drive my car here. I’ll just drive you back to your apartment.” Daehwi glanced at the pool of water that started forming under his best friend. “We also don’t want to give the employees more works than they are paid for.”

Soobin only pursed his lips. Not exactly denying, because after drenching himself in the rain, everything sounded like a bad idea for his weak immune, he himself also wanted to just go back seeking for warmness and laying down under the sheet.

“Jihoon!” A sudden voice caught Soobin’s ear.

He looked over the entrance door in full career, agitated to see the view. Under the stream of air that was too cold, his mind was starting to wander into the locus inside his brain that carefully held memories he always tried to dispose, but came up as failure nevertheless. 

He felt like the time was passing too slow, the clock hand on the wall didn’t significantly move every time he glanced over. He started shivering even more, he probably knew why, maybe it was because he was drenched by the rain, and the air was too cold, or maybe because he could finally meet the guy he never thought he would see ever again, walking in front of him towards the seat at the corner.

Every cells inside his brain was trying so hard to overcome the chaos his heart suddenly initiated. Although Soobin let them doing their job, he also thought that maybe they just needed to give up already, since it was only such a waste to be overworked for something impossible. And forgetting the said memory about the guy was impossible. 

However he wasn’t the guy he thought he was, as the other guy revealed his full name “Lee Jihoon!” Soobin felt like his hope was crumbling again.

“You still try to find him?” Daehwi asked, concern could be seen in his eyes. “You know it’s been almost 10 years already.”

“I don’t know.” Soobin sighed. “Part of me just wanted to let go, but every time I heard that name, my body just responds in full force. It’s like I’m a Pavlov dog, and Jihoon is the stimulus.”

Daehwi sipped his coffee. “I don’t understand what you’re saying but that sounds concerning.”

He nodded. “It is.” 

Before they could continue, a tap on the table came, informing them that the car was ready in front of the coffee shop.

“Better to drive you back before you catch a cold.” Daehwi said, collecting all his belongings as he stood up from the couch. Soobin just obliged, he never wanted to agree at something more before this.

  
  
  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  
  
  


Yeonjun used to love rain when he was younger, running around under it, letting the droplets after droplets embracing his body. But it wasn’t the case anymore. Because every time it rained, suddenly all the cars were on the road, creating a massive traffic jam all over the city. 

The traffic was horrendous. He had been stuck in the same cross junction only two blocks before his apartment complex for about 45 minutes already. If his mother was present by his side, she would whoop his ass multiple times just by the amount of curses he let out in the span of each minutes.

He didn’t think he ever believed in the presence of god, but he started clasping his both hands in front of his face anyway, closing his eyes, as he kept praying for a swift lane for the next junction religiously, because for real, he couldn’t hold his bladder any longer.

The taps on the steering wheel getting more and more frequent as he pounded his fingers on it snappishly. The traffic light was still showing an angry red color with 30 seconds countdown. Yeonjun closed his eyes to count it down by himself, with his own sense of how long one second was, and opened it back to see there were actually still 10 seconds left.

He groaned as he started stomping his feet on the free space between the seat and the pedals. The littlest thing he could do so he wouldn’t piss himself on his car.

Yeonjun wasn’t the type to honk the horn before the countdown screen showing numbers in green color, but he couldn’t be careless anymore as he pressed it several times even though the number still had not hit zero yet.

Green was never his favorite color, but it might be starting to be as one with the effect of euphoria he savored within his body just by seeing it. It was hazy in his mind, the next thing felt like a blur as he tried to drive as fast as he could within the safety speed limit on the packed road.

Once he finished parking his car, he ran crossing the parking lot towards the building, hopping on the elevator, and pouncing the number 5 button so fast. The ding sound notified him that he reached his floor, so he started running out of the elevator and turned to the left where his apartment was. 

He was too focused on how to get into the toilet faster that he didn’t see puddles of water were scattering around the hallway floor. He was only made aware once his shoes slipped on the large pool of water. He lost his balance to the gravity, sending him fall to the ground helplessly unprepared.

He shouted a loud screech as he winced to the pain he felt where his elbows hit the concrete. He cursed under his breath, ducking his head to muffle his voice as he realized he fell right in front of an apartment door. He didn’t want to receive any more sound complaint from his neighbor that would cause him to be kicked out at anytime soon.

Though the pain was difficult to ignore, he reminded himself that he had more important thing to do, had been since almost an hour ago. So he got up hurriedly, walking as fast as he could to his door while setting aside the soreness all over his body, the evident result from the awful downfall. He reflexively input his passcode out of habit, then slammed the door open once it was unlocked to finally run into the toilet, where his heaven seemed to be for now.

  
  
  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  
  
  


The library was so packed as students occupied every seats to study, preparing for the midterm test that would start next week. Soobin wouldn’t get to sit if it wasn’t for Sanha who came earlier and saved him one by his request, because out of all days, his body chose to oversleep at this kind of time.

Soobin was standing at the counter, almost, just _almost_ , crying his eyes out. He borrowed two books yesterday and it went down drenched because of the rain. He was lucky the one—which he already tried to search for the price and it almost gave him a heart attack how it costed half million won—saved. However he still needed to pay the fine for the other one, and it didn’t cost any much cheaper either.

His right hand was trembling when he held out his debit card hanging in the air, waiting for the librarian to take it to finalize his fine payment. The latter just chuckled, because this wasn’t the first case of said accident. In fact, Soobin was the 5th person who reported about damaged books because of the rain by the time he came at 10 am in the morning.

When the beeping sound of the terminal payment machine was heard, displaying the amount of money he had to pay; which was 235.000 ₩, he felt like tears finally fell streaming down his face, as he typed his PIN number and a notice of PAYMENT APPROVAL came into shown.

The walk to his seat felt like a walk of shame, but without anyone actually looking at him, as they were busy with their own study, instead it was the grumbling voice in his stomach and the breads in his brain from the favorite bakery downtown, which he obviously couldn’t afford anymore in the meantime.

“I’m just gonna live in this library to read every books I need and never borrow any single book anymore.” He whispered with clenched fists in anger once he settled on his seat. 

Sanha just laughed at him, which immediately cut by multiple people around their table shushing them to stop talking. They both ducked their heads and smiled sheepishly while muttering a silent sorry’s to people around them. 

It’s been almost 3 years since he studied in Strategy and International Management. While people might think it was a cliche major, he didn’t really mind it. Though it was only what his parents wanted, he was okay, because he didn’t even know what he wanted to do either. And his parents already had a company he could work on later, so it was rather a win-win situation for him.

Frankly, he enjoyed studying every bit of it. Although management didn’t require perfect knowledge of all areas of business, there were number of management ideologies which must be honed in order to truly grasp its concepts. Unfortunately, not all principles were easy to master, and some were just downright challenging and sometimes frustrating to understand.

The one class that Soobin thought was the hardest would always be Strategic Management. Business strategy required to bring in all areas of business: marketing, management, operations, finance, accounting, etc., in order to make decisions about the direction the company would go. 

So not only it was the hardest class, it was also his favorite one. That was why Soobin already opened his laptop to read the presentation of said class from the past months. He noted some book’s references his professor gave to find them later for more depth of the topic.

It was already lunch time the moment he finished reading all the class presentation. Sanha offered him to eat at the cafeteria together, but he refused as he was too in deep in his study mood, also it was the only time he would be able to study peacefully. The other went after not forgetting to remind him to at least eat something even though he was so into the lesson, and Soobin replied him with a soft thank you.

Soobin walked down the aisle of bookshelves about management, searching through for the books he already wrote down the notes one by one thoroughly. He managed to find 5 out of 7 books he needed in the end, wondering why each books had to be at least 10 centimeters thick.

He was about to walk back to his seat when someone bumped his body from behind harshly, resulting him losing his balance, then fell allowing the gravity took him down, along with the 5 thick books he was holding. 

There was a loud thud, Soobin thanked god that at least his position was hidden behind several bookshelves so nobody could actually see his face, which probably looked not so great right now. 

He turned his body to face the perpetrator of his downfall, he was so ready to throw his anger at the latter when he caught a glimpse at a name displayed on student ID card that fell not far from him. His eyes widened in panic. “P-Park Jihoon?” Soobin stuttered.

“Yes? I’m so sorry, are you okay?” The stranger asked while taking all the books from the floor. “I’m so sorry I was trying to get a book at the 7th row but I couldn’t reach it and I lost balance.”

Soobin was still on the floor, anger gradually subdued, changing to fluster mess. Every part of his body just froze, his mind was blank, not knowing what to do.

“Hey, are you okay? Did I hurt you so badly?” The other sounded more concerned seeing him not moving from where he fell.

The stranger guy, whom was suspected as Park Jihoon, reached out his hand to help him stand up, but Soobin was still too shocked to even respond. He left the other’s hand hanging in between. The guy grew more and more worried each second he left him in silence.

As his nerves finally came back to his sense, Soobin shook his head. “It happened again.” He whispered to himself.

The other went crouching down, checking him out closely when he didn’t look like making any move. Soobin held his breath when the other’s face came too close to his. “Hey, you there?”

Soobin laughed nervously. “Haha, yeah, I’m okay. I was just surprised, that’s all.” He stood up right away, but wincing at the pain because of the sudden movement. “Ah!”

He felt an arm around his shoulder. “Hey, let’s just sit first.”

Soobin was guided to walk down the aisle. Luckily the bookshelves were so big, big enough to hide themselves from the peering eyes. The other sat him down on the floor, leaning to the shelf. To be honest, he didn’t need any help at all, but something in him told him to just follow the other’s lead, and Soobin complied.

“Where does it hurt? I’m so sorry.” The other inspected him.

“It’s okay really.” Soobin smiled sheepishly.

He nodded. “Oh right, you called my name before. Do you know me?”

“I saw your name on the student ID card that fell on the floor.” He shrugged. “And for a second I thought you were my senior because you both have the same name.”

He raised his eyebrows, curious. “Oh yeah? Senior? Which school?”

“Cheongdam-dong Elementary School? But probably you’re not.” Soobin waved his hand, not wanting to expect more to his wishful thinking.

“Ah! Cheongdam-dong? Yes! I studied there.” He clasped his hands in excitement. “What’s your name?”

Soobin eyes widened after hearing the affirmation. He could feel his heart beat faster than before. It was so loud, he hoped that the other couldn’t hear it. “Soobin. Choi Soobin.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Your name didn’t sound familiar,” Jihoon shrugged. “But I didn’t know many underclassmen anyway.”

Soobin still couldn’t believe it. He finally found the Park Jihoon he had been searching for. He tried so hard not to pinch his cheek in front of the later, just wanted to be sure this wasn’t a dream, but the apparent pain on his back from the previous collision convinced him, that this was pretty much real. 

Soobin breathed out. “It’s been so long too. I would be surprised if you remembered.” He said, leaving out so many details because probably hearing a whole _‘Yeah, you wouldn’t remember me because you already graduated the moment I moved to Cheongdam-dong, but I saw you once and I fell in love with you. You are my first love.’_ was so outright creepy for the first encounter after years. So he settled with that. There would be other times for an explanation, Soobin thought. Even if there wasn’t any, Soobin would work everything out to make sure there would be.

Jihoon tilted his head, studying the younger. “I’m actually more surprised why I can’t remember you.” He smiled. “I promise I won’t forget you from now, Soobin-ah!” He craned his right hand in between their bodies while grinning ear to ear.

Soobin caught off guard with how the other called his name. He loved it how his name was perfectly rolled by the older. He ducked his head to hide the blush forming on his cheeks so Jihoon couldn’t see it. He raised his eyebrows, looking at the other’s hand, unsure. “Hmm?”

As he didn’t make any move, Jihoon proceeded to take his hand and hold it. “How can I forget a pretty boy like you anyway. It’ll be a loss for my side.” Jihoon winked. And Soobin swore, he felt like his breath was taken away by force.

There were several books being left on the small table beside the bookshelves on every aisles in the library, meaning someone probably had already read then left them there for the librarian to organize it back into the shelves. However it wasn’t the case for the seven books on the management aisle. 

Jihoon had put his books including the ones Soobin got there, neglected, not even once opened. Because along the lines, he suggested for them to have lunch together.

“Hey, what if we continue our talk while eating lunch outside?” Jihoon offered, sounding expectant.

“What?” Soobin hoped that didn’t come out too surprised because now he got embarrassed by the sudden answer.

“My treat. You can take it as my way to apologize after tumbling down on you back there I guess?”

“Ah, no need to—“ Soobin responded but was short to cut by the older. “I insist.”

For the first time, he braved himself. “Okay then, let’s go. I guess today is your unlucky day.” He stood up slowly, still wincing at the pain on his back.

Jihoon followed. “Why?”

“I haven’t eaten since this morning, you’ll have to buy me more foods.”

Jihoon laughed, Soobin didn’t want to be cheesy, but the sound of his laugh was like a melody to his ears. “It’s my lucky day actually.” He looked up to see the younger, realizing the height difference was so apparent. “Not everyday I could meet someone as beautiful as you.”

They were walking side by side to the barbecue sauced chicken joint not far from the campus gate. Soobin’s face was as red as tomato, but he felt warm in his chest. He still couldn’t believe, that finally, after years of searching, he found his first love in such an unexpected time and place. Soobin couldn’t help but smiling the whole time, he felt happiness bursting into his heart which pumped it all over his body through the veins. The universe really worked in such a mysterious way.

  
  
  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  
  
  


Soobin learned that Jihoon was studying Finance, and they somehow took the same class once in his third semester, but Soobin was too engrossed to the lesson that he didn’t really know who else beside Jaemin and Jeno who always sat beside him at the fourth row of the seat. Soobin mentally cursed himself that he actually could find the other sooner if he ever looked back at the last row where Jihoon was always seated with his friends.

Soobin also learned that just like him, the other couldn’t stand spicy food that much. They both dared themselves to order sweet spicy chicken level 4, but eventually surrendered once the tears started falling from their eyes and the sweat kept coming off the skin following it. They both laughed, and ended up ordering the basic barbecue instead.

Eventually Jihoon had to end their lunch time as he had an afternoon class. He didn’t know what had got into him, but Soobin manned up suggesting to walk him back to the campus. And Jihoon was more than delighted to accept that. 

They were walking side by side again. And Soobin’s cheeks were still as red as tomato, but this time, so were Jihoon’s. They both could feel something growing inside them, and it became stronger with each steps they took, and each collision their hands met, itching to just reach out and hold each other.

But they both weren’t bold enough to jump over that phase yet. Still content with whatever they had right now. So they just kept walking, until the building they were heading to finally came into view.

Once they reached the building, Jihoon bid him goodbye. But not before them exchanging phone numbers for easier communication to create many other next times.

“See you, Soobin-ah!” Jihoon waved his hands before entering the business school building.

Soobin smiled, and waved his hand in return. “See you, Jihoon-Sunbaenim!”

  
  
  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  
  
  


**Soobin**

Daehwi, where are youuuuuu???!!! 

Something just happened I need to tell you ASAP

**Daehwi**

I’m still at the studio producing some tracks for my mid term assignment. 

Just come here

**Soobin**

Which studio? Your faculty building is a maze

**Daehwi**

Studio 4 Building D 2nd Floor

**Soobin**

On it!

  
  
  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  
  
  


The dance class had already finished 3 hours ago, but Yeonjun was still perfecting his moves for the mid term evaluation next week. He inspected his every move on the mirror wall, checking every bit, correcting the ones he felt still not right, until it met with his standard.

All of his friends already left him alone in the studio, couldn’t keep up with his perfectionist side because Yeonjun was too stubborn to listen to his friends. “Come on, Jun. you have to get some rest. Your move is already great.”

But being great wasn’t enough for Yeonjun. Everything had to be perfect. And for him, his dance was still far from it.

He mopped the floor for the fifth time already, wiping all the sweat that came off his skin so it wouldn’t slip his shoes as he danced. He didn’t want to repeat the same mistake he made in the first semester. He was too lazy to mop the floor though it already covered by his sweat. It caused him a sprained ankle for a whole month then, and Yeonjun would never want that to happen ever again.

He continued dancing, finally reaching to the last part of his routine. If he felt satisfied with it, he could go back to his apartment soon enough. In the middle of inspecting his move, he saw the reflection of someone opening the door in the mirror in front of him, walking into the studio with Gong Cha cup in his hand. Yeonjun thought one of his friends, probably San, stopped by to give him his favorite boba. 

Call him cheap, but seeing a Gong Cha cup was enough to make him fired up again. The thought of gulping a fresh made milk tea with chewy tapioca pearls after a long tiring day was heaven for him. 

He looked at the mirror again to view his move, but instead of focusing to his reflection, he caught a glimpse of a foreign face staring at him intently. He kept dancing while his focus was already scattered around the tall strange guy holding Gong Cha cups, which definitely not San, nor his other friends, because that guy was at least 6 feet tall and nobody in the dance major was taller than him.

It wasn’t long until the music stop, so did Yeonjun. To be frank, he didn’t really care about his dance anymore, maybe he did it okay, maybe he did it even worse, he couldn’t be careless, as he saw the tall strange Gong Cha guy still looking at him with mouth agape. 

Yeonjun smirked, after studying the other’s expression not changing for another 10 seconds. “Like what you see?”

The Gong Cha guy was surprised by the sudden greeting. He widened his eyes while walking backwards, crashing on a chair that Yeonjun used for a prop before—but forgot to move it aside, tripped over his untied shoes, while still holding one boba cup in his right, but losing grip of the other cup on his left hand.

Now Yeonjun felt bad for the guy. If he knew this thing would happen, he’d rather greet the other in more unsurprising way, because he knew himself how embarrassing it was tripped over in front of someone.

He walked over to the side, bringing the mop, before walking closer to the other. He went crouching down to save the spilled cup. He felt sad though to whoever would drink this boba, because the content was already making its way to escape on the wooden floor. 

“Soobin?” Yeonjun muttered, looking at the name scribbled on the cup.

He looked at the cup and to the reddened face of the guy in front of him back and forth. “Soobin? Have we met before?” 

The guy, Soobin, tilted his head in confusion. “No?” 

Yeonjun didn’t know why, but after looking at the Soobin guy closely, he felt like he had seen him before, some familiar feeling creeping into his sense, but he couldn’t really pinpoint what it was. So he just nodded.

“Are you okay though? I mean, I would cry over this spilled Gong Cha because I love it so much. But did you hurt yourself?”

Soobin shook his head. “No. Uhh, I’m sorry I made some mess, I’ll mop the floor.”

“No, it’s okay.” Yeonjun answered. “But can I take a sip of your Gong Cha please? The water dispenser doesn’t have any more water, and I’m thirsty right now.” Soobin nodded and reaching out his cup to give it to Yeonjun. 

Yeonjun stood up, craning his arm to the other, helping him to get up. “What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were my friend.”

He scratched the back of his neck. “I wanted to see my friend but I think I got into the wrong room.”

Yeonjun sipped his boba, the stranger’s boba actually, but it was practically his now. “Where are you going to see your friend?”

“Studio 4 on Building D?” Soobin just stared at Yeonjun mopping the mess he made on the floor.

“You got into the right studio but the wrong building.” He laughed in between his words. “This is studio 4 Building B.”

Soobin ducked his head, embarrassed. “Ah, I see.”

Yeonjun raised his eyebrows. “Your friend is in music department?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “Can you please tell me the way to the room? I’ve been going here several times but I always get lost.” Soobin said while grinning sheepishly.

The mess on the floor was finally wiped clean. Though it was still kind of sticky, he just left it be, he could deal with it tomorrow. Yeonjun walked to the side of the room to put the mop back on its place. “You know what? I’ll walk you there so you won’t get into the wrong room again.”

Soobin waved his hand, rejecting politely. He really didn’t want to add more trouble to the latter after the whole spilled boba fiasco. “It’s really fine. You can just tell me the way.” He smiled reassuringly, even though he wasn’t so sure himself.

Yeonjun shook his head as he packed all of his belongings into his bag. “It’s getting dark too. It’ll be harder to search around if you don’t know the exact place.” He turned his head to see the other. “Soobin? Is your name Soobin?” 

He nodded. “Yes, my name is Soobin. Choi Soobin.”

“Ah, I’m a Choi too. Choi Yeonjun. Are you a freshman?”

Soobin laughed. He didn’t even know why he laughed, or maybe it was because of the cute expression the other made while trying to guess his class year; with furrowed eyebrows, squinty eyes, pouty lips, and puffy cheeks. “No, I’m in my third year actually.”

“Wah, it makes me a _hyung_ then. I’m already in my fourth year.” He clicked his tongue. “Damn, time really fly so fast I’m already in my fourth year. I’m practically a grandpa.” He zipped his bag, finally finished packing up. He walked to the door, motioning Soobin to follow him out of the room.

As Soobin walked through the door, the older stared at him intently. He tilted his head checking him from head to toe. “Are you sure we have never met before, Soobin-ssi?” Yeonjun asked, unsure.

Soobin tried to recall any encounter with the other, but he didn’t seem to be able to remember anything. “No, I don’t think we have ever met before?”

Yeonjun just nodded at that. However, as Soobin stood on the corridor waiting for Yeonjun to lock the door, Soobin heard him saying under his breath “Why do I feel like he’s so familiar?” Too low, but not low enough for Soobin to hear.

  
  
  
  
  


«««

  
  
  
  
  


“Should we really get it now?” Mark furrowed his eyebrows. “I mean, there are still plenty of time.”

Yohan nodded, agreeing with Mark. “The point of time capsule is so we can see what our past self said years before. But it hasn’t even been a month and we already want to dig it up.”

“They will build another extension building for the elementary school on that area we planted our time capsule.” Wooyoung exasperated. “So if we want to be able to open it 10 years later, we should go get it before the construction.”

Mark paused from writing his apology paper which clearly nobody else tried to do but him. “But we are in the middle of detention.”

“And whose fault is that?” Jihoon snorted.

Yeonjun was the first to throw everyone under the bus. “Not me? Yes, yesterday was on me. But today I definitely said we shouldn’t go to the PC rental two days in a row, moreover we were caught yesterday?” He glanced at Wooyoung unsubtly.

Wooyoung, whom felt he was under everyone’s gaze, sent an incredulous look, feeling wronged. “Wait. Why are you all looking at me? I was just suggesting, what if we go to to another PC rental—“ Jihoon cut him before he could even finish, “—which was actually only one block away from the previous one.”

He scoffed. “Then if you knew it was a bad idea, why did you all follow me anyway?”

Yeonjun just sipped his apple juice he always had inside his yellow hoodie pocket, not wanting to go any further with the debate. Because honestly, he didn’t really care about the time capsule, but he also wanted to go out of the detention room anyway.

“Let’s just hurry, we have 2 hours left before our detention finish.” Mark was the first to agree, though he was also the first one who questioned it.

“So we go?” Yohan asked in confusion.

Wooyoung already flung his bag to his back. “Yes? You want to write lame ass apology paper again?” He scoffed.

They walked down the hallway quietly, tip-toeing silently, careful not to create as much sound as possible. Once they climbed and jumped off the back gate, they laughed while running towards the direction of their elementary school backyard.

  
  
  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  
  
  


**Daehwi**

Hey, where are you? It’s been almost an hour

Please don’t say you’re lost again

**Soobin**

Fortunately, I am 

*Unfortunately

I was in Building B, but I’m walking there now

**Daehwi**

I’m already finishing up

Just meet me in front of the building, I’m walking down

**Soobin**

Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it actually started with my yeonbin first love au rambles on my friend’s dm and i just wait let me just make an actual fic out of it. and so here we go.
> 
> please let me know what you think about it ❤️


	2. It’s You

  
  
  


“Yeonjun-ssi?” Soobin called out. “My friend said that he was already finishing up so I only have to go to the front of the building. No need to walk me to the studio.”

They were walking down the stairs, with Yeonjun one step ahead of him, leading Soobin to their destination silently. Yeonjun stopped and turned his head to face him upon hearing his voice. “Ah, okay. It’s still kind of far though. I’ll take you there.” He said while smiling.

The clock was already hinting at 5 pm when the sky started getting dark. Some lamps began lighting up the corridor where they walk, in hope to replace the work of the sun, though it still wasn’t as great, but nice effort regardless.

They were crossing some area from one building to another, and Soobin still had no idea neither where they were standing nor heading too, even though he already went to the music department building many times before. But he also forgot to mention that everytime he went to the music department, he always got lost too. So this wasn’t a surprising news either. The only difference was, right now, a guy with blue electric hair willingly walked him to his actual destination, solemnly sipping on his Gong Cha. 

Soobin was a little bit sulky about that spilled cup, and now Yeonjun took his. He wasn’t as pleased when he thought the older would only try to sip once or twice, but ended up hailing all of it, perfectly gripping the cup out of his reach. After looking at how the older seemed like not showing any sign to give the cup back to him, Soobin just gave it up eventually, counting it as his gratitude towards the other for helping him.

Soobin was quiet the whole time, not really knowing what to say, only letting out one or two words when Yeonjun asked something as trivial as what major he was in—Strategic and International Management—he answered, along with asking the older the same thing only to feel helplessly stupid the next second as the other raised his eyebrows—because _of course_ _it was dance_ , he literally went into the wrong studio room and saw the other danced just couples of minutes ago.

The walk wasn’t even that long, probably not far either, because they already arrived in front of another building with a huge letter D sign set on the wall in no time. 

Yeonjun stopped his steps and stood with both hands on hips. “We’re here.” Yeonjun informed. “This is Building D.”

Soobin was fast to follow. He stood 2 steps away from the other, still sad about the boba the older drank. His heart couldn’t bear to see the empty cup in his hand with closer inspection, so he measured enough distance to bury the feeling. However he also felt thankful towards Yeonjun since he was so bad at direction and the other was kind enough to suit his help.

He bowed. “Thank you so much for walking me here, Yeonjun-ssi.” 

The other bowed back in a speed of light. “Hey, just call me _hyung._ No need to be so formal.”

Before Soobin could even comply, he heard some footsteps, followed by some chatters coming from inside of the building. Daehwi’s figure was seen seconds after, walking towards him right away after recognizing Soobin. 

“Soobin-ah!” Daehwi greeted from the distance while jogging up to him.

“Lee Daehwi?”

Daehwi turned his head towards the source of voice calling his name. “Huh? Yeonjun-Sunbae?” He was surprised to see the other here, and with Soobin out of all.

“You guys knew each other?” Soobin walked closer.

“Yeah we had the same class before, I took music production once. Never again.”

Daehwi snorted. “What do you mean never again? You literally got number 1 in class. Stop lying, Sunbae.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t _ace_ it, I just don’t want to experience it more. I guess I’m just gonna dance forever.” Yeonjun said while twirling on one foot with both hands perched on his hip.

Soobin just stared at the older in awe, his electric blue hair seemed to look more striking under the dim artificial light casted around the corridor. Looking the view, he smiled absentmindedly without knowing the reason of it. The older probably could feel the weight of his gaze on him, he glanced at him, giving back a sweet smile mirroring what Soobin did.

“Now my job is done, I’m gonna go home now. Please don’t get lost too often.” Yeonjun laughed. “See you next time!” He waved his hand before running away from the building.

Soobin was still looking at the direction where the older disappeared when heard giggles from his side breaking his stare. “What?” He asked incredulously.

“I know he’s handsome but he’s already gone. Stop staring at a tree.” Daehwi said, still giggling.

Soobin scoffed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He linked his right arm to Daehwi’s left one and pulling the other closer. “Let’s go to my place. You wouldn’t believe what just happened to me.” Soobin started, words began to wander around about the previous event.

“Let’s buy some take out first, I’m hungry.” Daehwi said after arriving on the parking lot where he parked his car.

“Okay, it’s on me! Because I’m feeling good right now.” Soobin cheered as Daehwi laughed while starting the engine of his car.

  
  
  


»»»  
  
  
  
  


“He said you were beautiful?” Daehwi confirmed once more.

“Yes.” Soobin answered. “He said I was pretty and beautiful too.” He frowned and bit his lip while thinking. “Daehwi, what do you think it means?”

The two of them were in one of the cafes on _Bongcheon-dong_. Daehwi eventually suggested to eat at the cafe he always wanted to try instead of going to his place and Soobin easily agreed to it, such a rare occasion since the latter didn’t really fond of being outside of his apartment.

The cafe was quite crowded because it was Friday and many young people, regular customers, also people who took a break after busy shopping to welcome Halloween which would happen in 3 weeks, gathered. Since the beginning of October, shops along the streets of Seoul and all the shopping centers have started to put up Halloween decorations. He didn’t care much, Soobin wasn’t the type to celebrate such thing anyway.

“I don't think he meant anything.” Daehwi said lightly, shrugging. “Just lip service.” 

“Is that so?”

“I mean, you are beautiful, Soobin. Everyone who has eyes will definitely agree, he’s not special. Don't think too much.” Daehwi explained while eating his chicken burger.

“Are you forgetting the part when I said he was my first love here, Lee Daehwi?” Soobin scoffed. “What do you mean he’s not special!”

“Hey, I say you’re beautiful at least twice a day. He ain’t special, please get in line.”

Soobin pouted. “I’m serious.”

Daehwi put the remaining of his chicken burger back on the plate and let out a loud sigh. “I’m serious too. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up by thinking he’s the only one who recognizes you and get hurt later, Soobin-ah.” He looked at his best friend for the past 10 years fondly. “So what if he was your first love and he called you pretty? It really doesn’t mean anything until his act proves it otherwise.”

Daehwi shook his head. “Though I’m actually so impressed that you’re still waiting for your first love even though it's been like a century and somehow met him again in the same faculty as yours.”

“I'm not waiting for him.” said Soobin curtly while chewing his french fries.

Daehwi snickered. “Your head was literally spinning so fast that it almost broke just because you heard the name _Jihoon_ everytime we were out.”

Soobin looked down again and slowly stirred the blue colored drink he ordered. He sipped through the straw, grimacing when the liquid entered his mouth, it tasted sweet and little bit of sour. 

Daehwi tilted his head. “Think about it. Do you even still have feelings for him? After all, it's been ten years. People's feelings can change, you know? What if the feelings you have right now isn’t even love anymore?"

Soobin just shrugged, then looked out the window of the cafe, staring at a row of bare trees on the side of the road, eyes unreadable. “I guess you’re right.” 

The words they exchanged stayed settling in his mind even after he got back into his apartment alone, keeping himself grounded from whatever expectations that might ensue if he didn’t remember what Daehwi said to him. At first, Soobin thought it would be a hard thing to do, however just like that, 2 weeks passed without he ever thought about it anymore.  
  


»»»

  
  
  


Soobin shivered. White steam came out of his mouth every time he exhaled. It seemed like autumn was already close to an end by how much the temperature went down drastically. It was still late October, but no plants were in sight with green leaves anymore, most of them didn’t even have any to begin with, all left with brown fragile branches sticking out in every directions, trying to survive in the harsh cold air. 

He glanced at his watch. It was almost midnight. It turned out he and his friends had been singing for hours at karaoke in celebration of the finished midterm tests. He cleared his throat. His throat was a bit painful from singing too much. While he was busy singing he did not feel any sign of tired at all, but now his sense eventually came back to him, his body felt sore and his eyes were heavy. He just wanted to get home quickly and go to sleep. Humming softly, he walked up a rather small uphill road to his apartment building. The lane was quiet and only lit by dim street lights.

He tightened the coat clasping around his body when a shiver just ran down his skin again. To be honest, he wasn’t fond of walking alone in the middle of the night, moreover in this chilly air. He started to regret his decision to walk back home in order to sober up instead of just taking Sanha’s offer to drive him home. Sometimes Soobin really made questionable life decisions and it didn’t faze him anymore.

His brain kept motivating himself to endure for a couple of minutes more as he arrived at the last junction. There it was. The apartment building was finally visible when he took a left turn. Soobin was very relieved. He almost ran, but his legs were too stiff to move even faster. 

Suddenly something was caught on the corner of Soobin’s eye from his peripheral view. A mop of electric blue hair sticking out from a jet black car in front of his apartment building. He wasn’t so sure if he got the right guy, but he never really saw someone with that hair color other than Yeonjun. 

“Yeonjun-Hyung?” He still wasn’t so sure but he shouted the name confidently anyway. Maybe he still had not sobered up after all, even with the 2 kilometers walk in freezing air, because undoubtedly he wouldn’t be brave enough to do it at any other time.

The electric blue hair guy stopped his track in the middle of the staircase and turned his head to search the voice. 

Soobin walked closer to the latter. “It’s you, Yeonjun-Hyung!” He grinned at the older when he reached the staircase.

“Soobin-ah?” Yeonjun asked surprisedly, obviously not expecting to meet him at this place, and in this kind of hour. “What are you doing here?”

Soobin held out his hand. “I live here. On the 5th floor.”

“What? I live on the 5th floor too!”

Soobin scrunched his nose, eyebrows furrowed as he was trying to think. “Wait a second. Hyung! Please don’t tell me you live in 503?”

Yeonjun put his hands inside his pocket. “Okay that’s a tricky question. I don’t want to answer before knowing your motive first.”

“What?” He scrunched his nose again, confirming the fact he still hadn’t quite sobered up because his brain still couldn’t perfectly function for a full conversation. 

The other laughed, maybe at himself, or maybe at his expression. He wasn’t so sure, his mind was still hazy. “You could have been plotting to murder the occupant of 503 and I won’t risk myself with it.”

Soobin shook his head as he let out soft giggles. “Hyung, no. You’re just so loud.” He paused, then continued. “But maybe I can think about that murder plot if you keep blasting music at midnight.”

“Oh that, I’m sorry.” Yeonjun saw a shiver tickling the younger as he started freezing. “Wait, let’s get inside first. It’s so cold outside.” Soobin nodded, following him silently into the building. 

“Would you like a hot coffee?” Yeonjun offered when they finally stepped into the elevator. He pushed at the number 5 button out of habit.

He glanced at the older. “Do I look like someone who drinks coffee?”

“To be very honest? No. But I’m trying to be wise not to judge a book by its cover.” He shrugged.

“Hyung, has anyone told you that you’re annoying?”

Yeonjun laughed at the remarks. “Yeah every single time. But do you think I care?”

Soobin stared at him thoroughly. “Maybe you care. But you act like you don’t. Also who even offers a coffee at midnight, you want to make me sleepless?”

“Okay I just want to offer you some coffee because I want to be a good _hyung_ as I can see you’re freezing from the cold, but why we suddenly start a therapy session?”

Soobin laughed the same time as the ding sound chimed, notifying them that they had reached their floor. He was the first to step out with the older in tow. He tilted his head. “Can I have tea instead, Hyung? Sweet one at that.”

Yeonjun smiled softly. “Sure. Your order is coming.”  
  
  
  


»»»  
  


Embarrassing. Why did he fall asleep in Yeonjun's apartment last night? Soobin exhaled while crossing the road. 

Today was Saturday and he had a full day of no classes nor busy schedule to take his mind off the embarrassing incident this morning for a while. So he decided to go out of his apartment, although his head was still so heavy even after drinking the hangover recovery drink Yeonjun gave him, and hopped on the first bus that arrived, not knowing where it took him to.

However now on his way to the where the fate led him, he was still reminded of the incident this morning when he woke up on the couch in the living room of the older’s apartment. 

“I slept here all night?” Soobin asked incredulously.

Yeonjun nodded. “You slept really well after drinking the chamomile tea I made you, you even ate two portions of aglio e olio I cooked because your stomach grumbling so much. You were still quiet drunk, I guess it made you tired, so I didn't wake you up. Besides, I don't mind.” He shrugged.

The older did not mind, but Soobin felt ashamed. Plus he met Sanha—he just remembered the other asked to borrow his book and wanted to get it in the morning—with raised eyebrows looking at him when he left Yeonjun's apartment this morning. 

“Why you?” Sanha squinted his eyes.

“Whatever you have in mind, no!” The sudden answer might sound suspicious, but the other just dropped it since he was in a hurry for his make up class quiz. Poor boy really had a make up class at 8 in a Saturday morning with hangover still apparent.

Soobin shook his head to clear his mind. Suddenly his phone vibrated with tone ringing so loud. He forgot to silence it since last night. He thanked god that he didn’t get any messages or calls before, or else he would most likely get kicked out of the older’s apartment for the disturbance before he could even process everything. He took the cellphone out of his coat and read the writing that danced on the screen. It was Jihoon.

“Hello, Jihoon-Sunbaenim?” He greeted.

“Hello, Soobin-ah.” Jihoon’s voice was heard from the other side. Soobin smiled. “Are you free today? Maybe we can grab lunch together?”

Soobin nodded, though he realized that the other couldn’t see him. “Yeah, sure.”

“Okay.” There was a relieved sigh continued with an excitement in his voice. “I’ll pick you up at 11?”

Soobin looked out of the window to inspect the surrounding. His bus was driving around _Bangbaebon-dong_ , probably taking him to _Banpo-dong_ as the next stop. “Actually, Sunbae, I’m already heading to _Cheongdam-dong_. What about we just meet there?” He still needed to transfer to another bus to get there, but it was weekend anyway. And also he was kind of missing his parents after not going home for 2 months.

Jihoon easily complied. “Okay, I’ll meet you there.”

Before he put back his phone inside his pocket, his phone vibrated as a message came from Sanha with a long sentence of _Okay now that I’m free please explain why you came out of other person’s apartment at 7 in the morning!!!!!!!!_ and another new message with excessive using of exclamation marks.

He answered with a normal _It’s nothing,_ which the other clearly didn’t buy as he still kept sending messages full of question and exclamation marks demanding an explanation. Soobin eventually ignored the neverending vibration from his phone and put it back inside his pocket, as the bus finally arrived at the transfer stop. He hopped off the bus and waited for the next one to take him to _Cheongdam-dong_.  
  


»»»

  
  
  


Jihoon glanced at his watch, then looked out the window, watching people passing by. He took a table by the window so he could see the street outside clearly.

It was twenty minutes late from the appointment and Soobin was still nowhere to be seen. The other suggested to eat at the restaurant near their old elementary school, and Jihoon gladly agreed. He didn’t know much about anything, but he realized one thing; he could never say no to Choi Soobin, even though it meant that he had to suffer with the hellish Seoul traffic on the weekend. It felt strange, how the other already got him wrapped around his fingers without doing anything. 

Jihoon looked at his watch again and sighed, it was forty minutes past twelve already. He began to feel more nervous than ever, feet rocking to the ground. He wanted to call the other and ask if he would come for the lunch or not, but he didn’t want to appear too pressuring. Maybe the younger was suddenly unable to attend because there was an important matter but couldn’t contact him, or worse maybe he even regretted to accept his offer to eat lunch together and ditched him in a sudden. He shook his head to remove the jitter. Alright, he would wait a little longer.

“Sorry I'm late.” A sudden voice interrupted his daze.

Jihoon looked up and saw Soobin standing next to the table with his flushed face and hard breathing. His hair was a bit messy due to the wind, but in no way mess his appearance. Soobin still looked dazzling as ever.

“Have you waited for a long time?” asked the younger, smiling sheepishly. He quickly tidied his hair and dropped into a chair in front of Jihoon. 

“Not really I just got here too.” Jihoon lied, he actually had arrived at the restaurant an hour before the promised time, but no way he would tell the other that sort of details.

“I’m sorry.” Said the younger once more. The look on his face was serious. “Actually, I had set my alarm, but it turned out to be useless. I meant to just take an hour nap after I got into my house but I fell asleep like a corpse. Finally I woke up late and had to wander around because I left my phone and I’m so bad with direction.” He grimaced. “I kind of forget _Cheongdam-dong_.”

Jihoon laughed, looking at the younger’s adorable expression while trying to explain. “It’s okay, Soobin-ah.” 

Soobin ducked his head to hide his embarrassment while Jihoon waving his hand to call the waiter as they were ready to order. 

“What do you want to eat?” Jihoon asked as the waiter finally came to their table.

“I’ll just get a _tonkatsu_ and green tea, Sunbae.”

“Okay then one _tonkatsu_ , one _tangsuyuk_ , one _japchae_ , one _mandu_ , and two green tea, please?” He told the order one by one slowly for the waiter to write it down.

“Why do you order so many?” Asked Soobin as soon as the waiter left their table.

“Because I know you’ll need more than just a portion of tonkatsu.” Jihoon winked. “How are you anyway? How was the midterm?” 

Soobin grumbled. “I’d rather not talking about it, Sunbae.”

He giggled. “Why? Is it that bad?”

“I don’t know? But I think I’m gonna flunk my accounting class.” The younger exasperated.

“Oh, accounting. That demon.”

“Right? I think I almost lost my sanity when I tried to fill in the ledger and the debit and credit table didn’t show the same number multiple times. I was so close to just cry in the middle of the exam.”

They continued talking. Even when the waiter came with their orders, they only paused for a moment, then continued while eating their foods. Jihoon was right, there was no way it was enough for Soobin to only eat one portion of tonkatsu, he almost inhaled all of the mandu by himself. He reasoned because he was running around before arriving at the restaurant, and Jihoon just bought whatever the younger said.

They were sitting by a large window. The sun wasn’t so bright, hidden by scattered clouds around the sky, it was autumn after all, but somehow it casted down a ray of light which perfectly fell to Soobin’s side. The view resulted a silent gasp escaped from Jihoon’s lips. In his eyes, Soobin was shining. There were sparks, initiating a fire bloomed on his chest. It had been so long since Jihoon could feel warmth like this, and he loved this feeling. He loved the feelings when he was with Soobin.  
  
  


»»»  
  
  


“Then I'll go first.” 

When his friend stood up and began walking, Yeonjun exclaimed lowly in whispers. “Where are you going, San?” He looked around to see if anyone was disturbed by his voice.

San turned his body. “I have a plan with Mingi. You wanna come?”

“Nah, I’ll pass. I don’t really know him and I’m not in the mood for talks.” It was true he wasn’t in the mood for talks with stranger, but also it was apparent San didn’t really want him to come in between the two. 

Yeonjun watched the other for a moment after he bid him goodbye, then stood up from his seat to leave too. He didn’t want to be in the library anymore, moreover alone only by himself, the silence was too deafening for him. He was walking towards the exit door, when suddenly his steps stopped. His eyes captured a familiar figure of a guy in yellow cardigan. Yeonjun squinted his eyes to focus his vision more.

The guy sat on one of the reading tables that lined the room. He occupied a table for four right in the corner and next to large bookshelves, almost hidden by the view. If the figure wasn’t so tall, or wearing that catchy yellow outer, Yeonjun would easily have missed it, or maybe he could still catch it, because somehow his sense was asking him to take a notice of it.

The guy was looking forward at the open laptop on the table with his chin resting on one hand, and a mouse in his other hand. For one glance, it looked like he was reading through the screen, but Yeonjun noticed the guy’s eyes didn’t even make any movement. His gaze was indeed directed at the laptop, but his attention was definitely somewhere out there, not drawn to the said thing. It seemed like he was daydreaming. 

His bangs were sticking up carelessly and Yeonjun could clearly see the dimpled cheeks every time the guy pursued his lips. Unconsciously a smile appeared on Yeonjun’s face. There was no mistaking it, that guy was Choi Soobin, his next-door neighbor. And no doubt, Soobin was daydreaming, he must had been, because he was completely unaware of Yeonjun standing in front of him, only separated by a table with piled up books on it.

Yeonjun stared at the dreamy face, suddenly felt curious about what the guy was thinking. He raised his hand to wave, however Soobin was still unmoved, busy with his own thoughts, oblivious to the world around him, and completely unaware that Yeonjun was looking at him since minutes ago. Yeonjun didn’t know how long he stared at the younger, but he was sure it wasn’t that long, even though it felt long enough. He only realized when Soobin eventually moved, as if he just woke up from his reverie. He blinked and closed his laptop, grabbing his bag to pack his things and stood up. 

At that moment Yeonjun took a chance to step forward and knocked on the table. Soobin heard the knock then looked up to see the source, and their eyes finally met. His eyes widened as his eyebrows furrowed when meeting with Yeonjun’s. Yeonjun smiled and raised a hand. Then Soobin’s expression changed as he recognized who greeted from the table in front of him and smiled back. Soobin motioned his fingers to the exit door and Yeonjun immediately understood. They walked side by side leaving the library behind.

“Yeonjun-Hyung, what are you doing here?” Soobin asked as soon as they were outside. He was surprised to see Yeonjun in the library, but he wouldn’t lie to say this was a pleasant surprise. 

Yeonjun raised his sketchbook. “I was making a floor pattern for my upcoming dance group with my friend.” He answered lightly. “What about you?”

“I was trying to do my essay but my brain didn’t want to cooperate, I wasted my 2 hours there.” Soobin explained while turning his head to face the older. “Where are you going now?” He asked, because they had been walking aimlessly at the boulevard for some minutes.

“Me? Now I want to buy groceries.” Yeonjun answered.

“Then, I'll come with you.” Soobin said.

Yeonjun raised his eyebrows. “What for?”

“Because I'm not busy. Why? Do you have an appointment with someone else?”

“No.” said Yeonjun. “Don’t you have essay to work on?”

“Ah, don’t worry, it’s due next week.”

“I see.” He muttered, seeing that Soobin was still waiting for his answer, he finally added, “Okay, you may come along.”

Soobin smiled happily. “I actually just don’t want to walk back to the apartment. I’m too tired. And you’re here, lucky me!”

Yeonjun clicked his tongue, trying to show annoyance even though he wasn’t annoyed at all. “So you’re using me.”

“Hey, it’s a win-win situation. You drive me, I accompany you driving.”

“How is you accompanying me a benefit?”

“Look at this face.” Soobin put both of his hands on his cheeks.

Yeonjun turned his head to face the younger. He inspected every single inches, those twinkling eyes, those long eyelashes, that slope of nose bridge, the squishy cheeks with dimples dipped in, those pink pouty lips, Soobin was indeed beautiful.

He didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he mumbled some words. “You’re so beautiful.” He didn’t mean to say it out loud, but he did anyway, and looked away right after because he was embarrassed to say the least, missing the way the younger’s cheek blushed from hearing his words.

“Y-yeah that. R-right?” Soobin stuttered with his words. He just stared at Yeonjun, trying to see whether he was joking or serious.

However Yeonjun tried to ignore the tension, avoiding to look at his side. He perched his gaze towards the front. “That’s my car. Let's go.”

  
  


»»»

  
  
  


“What should I eat tonight?” Yeonjun muttered to himself. He stood facing the grocery rack while tapping his chin with his index finger. “Bibimbap? Or pasta?” 

Soobin who was in charge of pushing the trolley approached him and stopped behind him. “Just pasta.” He said and reached out past the older's head to reach for a box of spaghetti and fettuccine. “I’m kind of bored with korean food. Let's just eat some western food tonight. That’s your best food anyway.”

Yeonjun’s eyebrows rose and he turned to face Soobin. "We?" He repeated while moving his hands pointing at himself and the younger. "Did I ever invite you to eat together?"

Soobin gave a sweet smile. "You're going to take me to dinner at your place, right, Hyung?” He pleaded with puppy eyes. Yeonjun hated how it actually affected him even for the slightest. “You know, actually I can't cook at all and last time I ate your aglio e olio, it tasted so good. I felt like my third eye was opened.” He persuaded with hyperbolic gestures. 

When he saw Yeonjun still staring at him with one eyebrow raised, he quickly added. "Tell you what, how about I’ll buy you that monstrous mint choco ice cream and then you cook me foods? Deal?" 

He shrugged. "I think it's fair enough." It wasn’t fair at all. Buying an ice cream and cooking actual foods weren’t even comparable. Yeonjun knew very well that he was a social person, but rarely could he immediately feel close to someone. Moreover relented to someone. “And it’s just mint choco the hell you distaste about.” He snorted.

Soobin seemed to be a shy guy in their first meeting, he wouldn’t lie how Yeonjun was kind of surprised to see how he was getting more and more confident and articulate right now. However he was happy to know that somehow along the way that the younger was comfortable enough around him.

During the walk to the parking area with ice cream in their hands; Soobin with strawberry flavor and Yeonjun with his favorite mint choco, they chatted a lot. Together with the younger, he told Yeonjun things that he had never thought of the other would tell. He told him about his family and about himself, such as about how he was the last child in his family and had 3 older siblings; 2 older brothers and 1 older sister. How he was born in Ansan but he moved too many times until he finally landed on Seoul last. And other things, it was flowing smoothly. Yeonjun was so captivated in everything that the younger said, as trivial as it was. 

“It's your turn,” said Soobin while biting the ice cream cone carefully.

Yeonjun himself claimed that there wasn't much to tell him. He said he was the only child in his family and his parents were divorced. His father lived in the United States, and he decided to go with his mother to South Korea. He stopped to begin licking his ice creams again, and didn’t go any further than that.

“Why did you decide to go back to Korea?” Soobin asked as they stood in a crowd of pedestrians on the edge of the intersection, waiting for the traffic lights to change color. 

Yeonjun was busy aiming his tongue at the melted ice cream, not letting any drops to go to waste. His face beamed with enthusiasm after saving some melted streams before it landed off to the ground. “Hm? Sorry, what did you say?” He asked as he turned towards Soobin.

“Why did you decide to go back to Korea?” The younger repeated the question. 

“Looking for a new atmosphere.” Yeonjun answered curtly, without trying to explain. At that moment the crossing light was turning green and a large crowd began to cross the street. Soobin didn’t ask for more question, because they had to walk quickly towards the parking area at the other side of the road, as the countdown was changing so fast. 

He was about to fall when someone crashed into his shoulder, when the next second he felt a hand reached to his empty hand without shopping bags, holding him securely. “Be careful.” The older simply said, while leading him to cross a sea of human.  
  


»»»

  
  
Soobin fluttered his eyes open which still felt awfully heavy, then raised his arms over his eyes, groaning softly as sunlight came penetrating through the bedroom window that wasn’t blocked by the curtain, piercing into his eyes. He yawned as he stretched his arms and legs in a position still lying down, then forced himself to roll off the bed, walking in dragged steps to the desk beside the bed to turn off the table lamp which was still on and eventually looked out the window. 

The weather seemed to be great. Soobin opened the balcony door and took a deep breath, filling his lungs and his whole body with fresh morning air. However it didn’t last too long because the air was so cold, it shot some chills to his skin, resulting a shiver ran down his body. Soobin quickly closed the door and rubbed his hands together to get an instant warm. 

Suddenly his eyes turned to the small clock on the table and he gasped. "Oh God!" He screamed.

He ran to the bedroom door and opened it with a quick jolt, he ran to the kitchen startling someone who was sitting at the dining table.

“What? What happen, Soobinie?” The electric blue haired guy was holding a coffee cup with both hands, looking at Soobin with raised eyebrows in surprise. 

“I'm late!” Soobin said frantically as he ran to the bathroom beside the kitchen. “I have a morning class, I'm late!”

The guy waved a hand. “It’s okay to miss classes once or twice.”

“Why didn't you wake me up, Hyung! I told you yesterday I needed to wake up early.” He turned his head to look at the older, sending him an incredulous look.

“You sleep like a log.” He shrugged. “Eat your breakfast, here, I cooked it for you.”

Soobin let out a loud sigh. Whatever he did, he wouldn’t make it to the class anyway, it was already 9 am and his class started at 8 am, so he gave up instantly. He knew he was bound to be doomed when he took a morning class on Monday out of all day. So he decided to enjoy this morning, grinning happily, and took the seat in front of Yeonjun instead when he looked at the table full of foods. “Thank you!” He gripped the chopsticks and the spoon the older offered him. “I miss eating home cooked food.”

Yeonjun squinted his eyes. “What do you mean you miss eating home cooked food when I’ve been cooking for you everyday, in literal meaning, because you come here to eat _every_ day.”

Soobin just shrugged at that, ignoring the scowls Yeonjun had been going, munching the fried rice and sunny side egg the older cooked him.

He didn’t know when it began, but they had been spending so much time together. If Yeonjun wasn’t dancing in the studio and Soobin wasn’t studying in the library, they were mostly found at some bakery Soobin forced them to go and try every kind of breads and pastries he found, or at Yeonjun’s favorite bubble tea shop after classes to increase their sugar intake, or at the bar downtown when their frustration was at its peak, or even just casually cooking and eating at Yeonjun’s apartment, together. And the latter was what they did last night which resulted Soobin to stay over as he was too lazy to walk back into his apartment. 

It wasn’t his first time to stay over. In fact, Soobin already lost count of it, not that he ever counted it anyway. Because honestly, he never thought hanging out with Yeonjun would be a regular thing for his life by then. He guessed it would be just another occasional like coincidental event for them to meet and spend the rest time of the day or night with each other.

Three weeks ago Soobin got back late and tried to type his passcode several times in a sad failure, not because he couldn’t remember it, but because he was too drunk to register that he did it at the wrong door. He passed by one door, he should be entering the apartment number 502, but his vision was too blurry to make out the number 2 that he saw was actually a fuzzed number 3. 

At the other side, Yeonjun was annoyed at the beeping sound coming from his door when he just wanted to have some sleep after hours of practicing his dance. He obviously didn’t expect to see a drunk Soobin on his door who fell into his embrace as soon as the door was flung open. He held the younger and brought him to his couch. Soobin felt sorry the next day he woke up, so he treated him a bubble tea and Yeonjun gladly accepted it.

Another time Yeonjun met Soobin at the university gate at night. It wasn’t late, the clock was still hitting 7 pm but the younger looked so exhausted with some thick books he hugged on his chest. So he pulled over and pushed down the car window button, calling out the younger’s name to offer him a ride. Soobin quickly obliged and got into his car in no time. 

The drive wasn’t long, since there was not much cars in the traffic, so they reached to the apartment in no time. But when Yeonjun glanced at his side, Soobin was already soundly asleep. He learned the hard way that Soobin was a deep sleeper. It took more than 10 minutes of exasperation to make him give up waking the younger, so he got off the car and carefully placed Soobin on his back to pick him up into the apartment. 

At first, Yeonjun was about to put him down on the couch, but after studying at the exhaustion on Soobin’s face, Yeonjun proceeded to lay him down on his bed, and he took the couch instead. And that was also the reason why Yeonjun always had mint choco ice cream bucket stocked in his freezer, it’s Soobin’s way to show his gratitude.

A coincidental meeting turned into a regular meeting at the hallway, the elevator, the lobby, the parking lot, even the walk down the street. They lived in the same building after all, next door at that. It was inevitable to suddenly cross path with each other. But accidental meetings eventually turned into designated ones.

Sometimes in the morning after his run, Yeonjun would meet Soobin at the minimarket down the street, munching on his triangle _kimbap_ for his breakfast. So Yeonjun would invite him to eat actual foods instead. Soobin was never opposing the ideas, matter of factly he thanked the older for the kind gestures. What Yeonjun didn’t know back then was one invite turned into other more visits without invitation. And morning visits changed into Soobin knowing his door’s passcodes, resulting a surprise appearance happened almost everyday that it didn’t come out as a surprise anymore.

Sometimes it was a movie night, or when they were too tired, the movie was just playing in the background for them talking about their days. Other times it was Yeonjun showing his dance moves for Soobin to inspect. Some other times it was just both of them doing their assignment in silence. But it was always both of them.

Yeonjun thought he finally could live alone in his apartment without any disturbance after whole fiasco he always got into throughout his life, but then the disturbance came in with a 6 feet tall bunny looking guy with dimpled cheeks, and Yeonjun had never felt lonelier when that disturbance left him in his apartment alone.

  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  


Soobin furrowed his eyebrows. “What is this, Hyung?”

“It’s you obviously.” Yeonjun pulled the younger in front of the mirror wall by the shoe rack to show the reflection of both of them along with the bunny slippers he just bought for him. He held the slippers beside Soobin’s face to further inspect them thoroughly. “Look at the mirror, you both look alike.”

Soobin scrunched his nose in disagreement. “ _Hyuuuung!_ ” He whined.

“What? I saw this and thought about you.” Yeonjun put the slippers on the floor. “It’s for you. So you don’t need to bring yours every time you come here, which is literally all the time.”

Soobin reached out for something inside his bag. “It’s just, I bought you one too.” He held a pair of slippers with a red fox on it.

“Huh?”

“This. Look at you. See? You both look alike too.” Soobin giggled while putting the red fox slippers each side of Yeonjun’s face.

He put the slippers down when he heard his stomach grumbled, asking for attention. “Now go cook the food, Hyung. I’m starving.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute. Or else I would’ve kicked you out by now.” Yeonjun clicked his tongue. “This is unfair! This is cute privilege!” He shouted while putting his feet on the red fox slippers and walked into the kitchen, bringing the grocery bags in his hands, completely unaware of how another red color like the slippers he wore was appearing on the younger’s cheeks.  
  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  


“Hey, it’s been so long since the last time we met.” Jihoon was the first one to greet when he saw Soobin walking down the corridor after class.

“Ah, Jihoon-Sunbae. Yeah, I’m so sorry I had so many assignments, I didn’t really have free time for the past weeks.” Soobin ducked his head apologetically.

“Nah, it’s okay.” He shook his head. “It’s just I miss you, Soobin-ah.” Jihoon almost cursed himself, but stopping it midway after he saw an apparent blush on the younger’s cheeks. He congratulated himself then for the successful risky move.

“Do you have time now? I know it’s kind of late for lunch and too early for dinner so maybe we could have some coffees instead?” Jihoon offered expectantly.

But Soobin? He, absolutely, one hundred percents, distated the bitter taste of coffee. However in no way he would admit that in front of his first love and manage to look uncool by not taking it. So he agreed to it. And regretted right after when that bitterness slipped into his tongue later on. Soobin could mask it by ordering some coffee with much milk, but he was so intimidated by the older who ordered americano, and absentmindedly proceeded to order the same thing.

Soobin was trying to gulp down the coffee when Jihoon questioned him. “Wait, now I remember, didn’t you say we went to the same elementary school?” Jihoon asked full of curiosity. “And we knew each other?”

Soobin shook his head. “We didn’t really know each other. We hadn’t even gotten to know each other back then. I knew Sunbae because Sunbae played a piano in the music room one time"

Jihoon tried to remember for a few moments, then he smiled regretfully. “Sorry, it's been a long time, I almost can't remember.”

“Indeed it was ten years ago.” Soobin said with a shrug. “Of course Sunbae doesn't remember. When we met, Sunbae was in middle school and Sunbae came to my school with some of your friends, I guess.”

Jihoon recalled. “My memories of my childhood are a bit blurry, but I vaguely remember something like that happening.” He smiled. “I was also good at playing piano, though I actually had a best friend who was a prodigy at it.”

It turned out Jihoon couldn’t remember him, Soobin thought a little regretfully. But he understood. Ten years was not a short time. He himself had forgotten many things that had happened in the past decade. He of course still remembered Park Jihoon because that man was his first love. As for Jihoon, Soobin was probably just a little boy who fell down at the music room, not important enough to remember. 

Soobin sighed. “You are my first love.” He thought he only said it in his mind, unaware his lips were already muttering it clearly out of his system. His eyes widened when he realized the fact that the voice he heard wasn’t his voice talking inside his brain, but instead an actual voice he let out which the other could possibly hear.

Jihoon was surprised to hear the sudden information, but then he looked at Soobin with a fond smile. “I’m sorry I can’t remember you.” He reached out his hand to hold the younger’s to ease the nerve. “I promise I won’t forget anything about you from now on.”

  
  


»»»

  
  


Yeonjun just got back from his dance class, four hours late, as he thought he needed to work on more on his move, as usual. He didn’t realize it at first, until he took a glance at his phone looking at the time almost hit 9 pm already, and mostly 25 messages and 10 missed calls from Soobin asking his whereabouts, also a specific follow up saying _if you didn’t come home by 9 pm I would go to the studio by myself and drag your overworking ass out of there_ . He smiled, finally replying the said person with an assuring _I’m sorry I lost track of time, I’m going home now_.

The moment he stepped into his apartment, he saw a familiar pair of white shoes on the rack by the door and a pair of white bunny slippers missing from there.

“Yeonjun-Hyung?” A voice called out from his living room.

“Yes.” Yeonjun responded while taking of his shoes. He put his shoes back on the rack, wore his slippers with red fox plush on it—Soobin bought it for him saying the red fox resembled him so much—and went inside immediately.

He didn’t know when exactly it started, but every night after dark, Yeonjun always found Soobin already managed to suit himself laying down on his couch, tv remote in his hand, changing one channel to another, deciding what shows to watch. And today was no exception.

Yeonjun tapped Soobin’s long legs to give him some space. Soobin retracted his legs as Yeonjun plopped down on the couch, then put them back now on Yeonjun’s lap.

Soobin glanced at him. “Rough day?”

He nodded before humming affirmatively, leaning his head on the couch while closing his eyes.

“Have you eaten dinner, Hyung?” Soobin put down the tv remote to rummage around the couch finding his phone. “I’ll order something. What do you want, Junie-Hyung?” He nudged the other’s hip with his toe.

Yeonjun cracked one eye open to look at the younger. “Up to you, Soobinie. I’ll eat whatever.”

“Okay, that’s actually a fake question out of politeness. I already ordered a _jajangmyeon_ just a minute ago because I’m so craving it.”

Yeonjun glared at him and hit his legs playfully. Soobin only laughed and continued watching the show Yeonjun didn’t really care to focus on.

“I just confessed to my first love.” Soobin said, after 5 minutes, breaking the silence.

Yeonjun’s ears perked at that sudden information while still having his eyes closed. “Huh? Your first love?”

“I thought I would never see him anymore but after almost a decade we finally meet again.” He shrugged.

“Yeah?” Honestly, Yeonjun mind was already so gone. He was dead tired, but he tried to mutter out any response so the younger knew he was listening.

“It’s actually so cliche how I met him in the library a month ago.” Soobin started. “He was trying to get the book at the highest row of the shelves but he was too short and he lost his balance. Magically I was there, so he crashed on me and we both fell down.”

“Hmm.” 

“Do you have first love, Hyung?” Soobin asked.

Yeonjun’s brows were furrowed as he was thinking the said question. “I don’t know, I never think about it.”

“Lie! I don’t believe face like you never dated before.” Soobin exclaimed.

Yeonjun sat straight up. “I didn’t say I never dated before, I just said I never really thought about who was my first love.” He turned his head towards the younger, smirking. “Also face like me? Is Soobinie saying I’m handsome?”

Soobin scoffed. “You know you are handsome, Hyung.”

“You’re right.” Yeonjun nodded in triumph.

Yeonjun was playing with the hem of his shirt when he talked again. “Now you say it, I remember something.”

Soobin turned his gaze to the older, neglecting the tv shows to focus on him.

“I used to visit my grandmother on weekends and playing with the kids there.” He started. “One time, we were having a bicycle race like always, but right before I got to the finish lane, a boy was crossing the street, making me startled.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “I pulled the break as fast as I could, but since the street was sloping down, the break didn’t really work. So I just crashed myself to a tree while avoiding him.” Yeonjun shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Wow such a heroic story.” Soobin said sarcastically, then started giggling when he felt the other hit his legs again.

“I was actually sort of in pain but acting cool, you know kids.” He laughed. “But the boy cried instead because he felt sorry towards me. He plastered my wound with bandage and kissed it, saying that it would heal faster.” 

Yeonjun smiled at the memory. “I can’t really remember his face now, but I guess he looked like a bunny, because the next weekend I was so thrilled to see him again, bringing a bunny plushie as a present for him, only to know that he already moved out of town.” 

He let out a sigh. “I don’t know if that’s love or not, but when I found out I couldn’t meet him again, I felt so heartbroken. I didn’t want to go to my grandmother's house for the next 3 months.”

“Awww, that’s so cute, Hyung.” Soobin got up from laying down the couch to tickle the older’s chin. “Do you want to meet him again?”

“Yes? No? Maybe? I don’t know? Honestly, I don’t really care about the past. If we meet then we meet, if we don’t then we don’t. As simple as that. I just want to enjoy my present time while I’m at it.”

Soobin stared at him in awe. “That’s so cool, Hyung.”

Yeonjun stared back at the younger’s eyes. “Yeah?”

“My childhood is like a fever dream to me. I can’t remember anything since my family moved so much following my father to manage his business. I was born in Ansan, but then I went to Daegu, Busan, Gwangju, and then Seoul was the last one.” 

There was a bell rang from someone outside cutting their conversation off in a sudden. Soobin stood up after also getting a call from the delivery man informing him that he had arrived. “Wait, the _jajangmyeon_ is here. I’ll go and get it.”

There was a sudden epiphany dawning on Yeonjun’s sense. He remembered more glimpses of fragments from his past as Soobin walked back with two bowls of _jajangmyeon_ on his hands while smiling looking so childlike with that simple happiness from food, eyes turning into crescents. He looked so soft, almost like that cute bunny he always saw at the university park, and somehow reminded him of autumn 17 years ago in Ansan. Yeonjun smiled back with much fondness in his heart. “I see.”

  
  


«««  
  


It seemed like a usual Saturday afternoon, the sun almost set, bringing orange to the previous blue that colored the sky. Some leaves started turning from green to brown, some others even already started falling from the trees. Yeonjun was pedaling his bicycle so fast, back arching down, mimicking a MotoGP racer’s posture, followed by other kids at the back, cycling almost as fast.

“You’re all losers! I will win as always!” Yeonjun shouted, as he kept pedaling faster and faster down the road. The other kids were shouting back, not wanting to be called a loser by him for the nth time.

The finish lane was the small bridge at the park, which Yeonjun could already see from where he was. He maintained his first place with large gap distance that was hard to decrease from the second place. He was so confident he would win the bicycle race from his friends, as always.

However Yeonjun saw a little boy suddenly walked out of the mini market from the corner of his eyes, jumping on one foot to another one, while singing cheerfully as he started crossing the road ahead not far from him. He pulled the break faster than a bullet reflexively, but his speed was too much to handle within a sudden force, and to his dismay, the road was sloping down, adding more to his speed. 

He kept screaming at the boy to run as he tried to turn his steering to avoid bumping onto him. However the boy looked too startled to even make a move. So in a matter of seconds, not wanting to hit the boy, Yeonjun decided to turn his steering to the right instead and crashed himself into a tree.

Yeonjun screeched to the sudden impact, but quickly moved the bicycle from on top of him, and got up on his feet when he heard a loud cry from the little boy he successfully avoided from crashing onto. “Why are you crying? Are you hurt?” Yeonjun asked worriedly as he walked closer to the boy.

“No, you! Blood! You are bleeding! Your arm and knee is bleeding!” The boy said in the middle of crying, pointing at his direction.

It was actually nothing for Yeonjun. “I’m okay.” He assured. He was used to this kind of thing as it wasn’t his first nor second time falling from bicycle. It happened all the time. Though it still felt painful, but he acted cool about it.

“No! No! This is Binie’s fault Binie’s so sorry.” The little boy shook his head furiously, still sobbing. “Binie’s so sorry.”

“Binie? Is your name Binie? How old are you, Binie?” Yeonjun held the little boy’s head softly to stop him from moving. He stroked the latter’s hair and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

He nodded. “Yes. Binie is 4.” 

Yeonjun scooted closer and hugged the younger to calm him, as the boy started to hiccup from the hard cry. “I’m Juni-Hyung. Hyung is okay. It’s okay, Binie.” He rubbed his back in circles, wishing the boy would stop crying and breathe normally again.

The other kids started passing one by one cycling towards the park, seemingly not aware of his presence at the back of mini market right under the tree. He could hear some of them asking his whereabouts, but Yeonjun was too preoccupied with calming the boy in his embrace.

Once the boy stopped crying and his breath came back to normal, his hand reached into his pocket while speaking gleefully. “Binie will heal Juni-Hyung!”

Yeonjun just watched the younger taking out bandages from his pocket intently, and let him plaster it onto his wounds on both arms and knees carefully. Now he looked at him closely, he reminded him of a bunny as the little boy resembled the cute animal so much. 

Binie blew the plastered wounds, then kissed them one by one. “Mom said if you kiss the pain it will heal faster.”

Yeonjun didn’t know whether it was actually real, magic, or something else, but he couldn’t feel any slightest pain from his wound after it. So he smiled at him, looking at the cute little bunny-like boy with dimpled rosy cheeks, grinning at him such innocently as his eyes turned into crescents  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  


Loving Soobin was easy. Too easy, actually. Who wouldn’t even love the guy who had stars in his eyes like it was their job to light up the darkness? The same guy who laughed with a melodic _hahaha_ that could cheer you up in a matter of mere second? The exact same guy who radiated joy when he smiled with two dimples on his cheeks that he swore was deeper than Bermuda wanting to say hello to the world?

See? It was too easy. But even more Yeonjun could scratch that for a while, because Soobin didn’t need to do anything to make everyone love him, only by existing, that was already enough. Or maybe that was kind of a little bit over the rate, but at least that was what Yeonjun thought, what Yeonjun felt.

It didn’t come as a sudden realization, nor as an oddness, it didn’t come as a confusion either. Yeonjun just knew it from the very first time; loving Soobin was inevitable.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally 😭😭 I’m sorry it took long to update because the university started again and I was so busy with my study.
> 
> We’re so close to the ending!!! Please let me know what do you think about this in the comment 💕💕


	3. It’s Always Been You

  
  
  
  


“So, who do you pick?” Daehwi got up from his seat to get a drink from his fridge.

“Huh?” Soobin looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Daehwi clicked his tongue. “Jihoon-Sunbae or Yeonjun-Sunbae?” He sighed. “I know you are dense. But I don’t know you are _this_ dense.” He poured water to his glass and motioned to ask Soobin if he wanted one but the other just shook his head.

“Do you want to know something?” Daehwi asked Soobin while taking a seat beside him on the sofa again. “Just for another perspective and all that jazz.” He added. 

Soobin nodded, mind was still blank.

“You used to talk about Jihoon-Sunbae often. But lately all you’ve been talking about is _Juni-Hyung this, Juni-Hyung that,_ every single time, both in person and texts, and I start to think he is the only thing on your mind.”

  
  


»»»

  
  


Soobin was just about to go out, closing the apartment door behind him, when he saw someone holding up Yeonjun to stand while walking slowly from the elevator.

He looked at the older worriedly. “What happened?”

It was the guy who came with Yeonjun that answered. “He fell from the chair when he danced on it and slipped.”

Soobin’s eyebrows rose. Yeonjun looked at him and smiled widely, then he shook his head. “I’m okay. Just a small accident.”

“He lied, that’s not a small accident.” The guy said again, resulting a dagger glare from the older.

“Thanks, Beomgyu. I’ll take care of myself from now on. You can go back to class.” Yeonjun tried to stand without the other’s help, in which he succeeded by leaning on the wall as replacement for support.

The guy, whose name probably was Beomgyu, seemed like weighing out his option. He looked at Yeonjun and Soobin back to back multiple times, until deciding to nod it away. “Okay. You better hurry in and compress your legs, Sunbae.” His back was missing from the view as he walked back into the elevator.

“Right. Come on in.” Yeonjun said as he pushed Soobin along towards his apartment. 

Soobin opened his mouth to decline. “But…”

“Do you want to go in or not?” called Yeonjun who already started typing his passcode number. 

Soobin looked at the older, then at his phone showing his messages of appointment, then back at the older. Finally he gave up and walked in comply. Yeonjun entered his apartment with Soobin following him from behind. He took off his shoes and put on his bunny slippers before entering Yeonjun’s apartment reflexively like it was a regular routine for him. And yes it was.

“I’m okay,” Yeonjun muttered, taking off his coat and hat. He turned to face Soobin. “Don't worry about it.” 

Yeonjun touched his cheek and grimaced softly. His cheeks must be swollen by tomorrow, today he really messed up, big time. He still couldn’t remember how it actually happened, all he knew the moment his mind came back from his daze, he was already laying on the floor with face facing the said wooden floor and the chair toppled on top of his body. It was more embarrassing than painful to be honest, because there were underclassmen came to watch their practice for the upcoming showcase.

He saw Soobin staring at him with a frown. “Why?” Yeonjun asked. “My face?”

“The corner of your lips began to turn blue,” murmured Soobin gloomily. “Your legs too. Let me get you some medicine from my apartment." 

When he was about to walk to the door, Yeonjun reached for his wrist. “No need to bother.” He said tiredly. “I also have medicine. My head hurts when you pace around back and forth. Just sit.” 

Soobin obeyed. He sat next to the older on the sofa and inspected his body for any other wounds. “Where are you hurt elsewhere?” He asked. “Head? You said your head hurts.”

“My head isn't hurt. Just a little dizzy.”

“Hands?”

“My upper arms a bit.”

“Legs?”

“It’ll get better once I compress it.”

“Your body?”

Yeonjun gave a short laugh. “Binie, I'm fine.”

Looking at Soobin still frowning in disbelief, he continued. “Really! Or do you want me to undress to convince you?”

Soobin snorted. “Yes. Undress now then so I can check.”

Yeonjun sent him an incredulous look, arms crossing on his chest. “Wow, I never thought you were this kind of person, Binie.”

The younger just rolled his eyes, ignoring his dramatic reaction. “Have you eaten?”

Yeonjun didn’t answer immediately. He looked at Soobin for a moment, then looked away and sighed. “I was going to ask you to eat together.”

“Ah, I was about to go to eat with my Sunbaenim.” Soobin said immediately without being asked. His smile widened. 

“Sunbaenim?”

Soobin straightened his back and looked at him with sparkling eyes. “I've told you about him, haven't I? My first love?”

Yeonjun responded with a slow nod, accompanied by a blank look and an unclear mutter.

“In the past, when I first met him ten years ago, I had no idea what kind of person he was. I only met him for a mere second.” Soobin continued while daydreaming. 

“Hm.”

“But we’ve been talking several times now, I know he's an amazing person.”

“Hm.”

“Also smart.”

“I'm thirsty.” Yeonjun interrupted suddenly.

Soobin paused and stared at the older. "Let me get you water." 

Before the younger could get up from the sofa, Yeonjun had preceded him and walked into the kitchen. He was upset. How could Soobin talk about his first love in front of him like that? But, of course, Soobin had no idea how he felt. 

Feeling somewhat guilty about cutting his story, Yeonjun turned to him and murmured. “I can see that you are very happy. I'm also happy if you are happy.” His voice came out a bit too hoarse at the last part, like something suddenly choked his throat.

Soobin smiled. "Yes indeed."

Yeonjun filled the glass with tap water and immediately gulped it down. “Who is his name by the way?” He turned his head towards the younger.

“Park Jihoon Sunbaenim.”

Yeonjun froze at the spot. He knew the name so damn well. He wondered whether the Park Jihoon the younger was talking about was the same as the Park Jihoon he had known since 16 years ago. Then his mind was reeling back to the fact that Soobin knew Lee Daehwi, and he was studying in the same elementary school as him. He really hoped it wasn’t the same guy, but the details shot his hope down right away.

He mumbled incoherent words while gulping his water again as his eyes caught multiple messages chiming in the younger’s phone.

“I have to go, Hyung. Jihoon-Sunbae is waiting outside.” He sent an apologetic smile to the older after looking at his phone.

Yeonjun cleared his throat. "I hope you have fun later." 

Soobin just stared at him for a moment, then nodded slowly.

Yeonjun sighed deeply and looked down. “I’m tired.” He said. “Looks like I want to sleep now.”

“Please rest." Soobin said as he stood up from the sofa. “Don’t forget to compress your legs, and your arms too. Also your lips, please.” Soobin paused for a while, looking at the older intently. “Or should we go to the hospital, Hyung?”

“Don’t worry, Binie. I’m okay.” He tried to beam a smile and raised his hand. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, Junie-Hyung.”

Yeonjun saw the younger walked out of his apartment and closed the door. Again, he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He was too late. Too late. 

The fact that Jihoon was his best friend made Yeonjun even more annoyed, he didn’t know what to do.

He exasperated, ruffling his hair and wincing when he touched his cheeks in the way. He walked to the cabinet to search for medicines, then to the refrigerator to get some ice for his bruise. He might not know what to do with his heart, but he knew what to do with the bruises on his body. He really needed to heal faster or else he would miss too many classes and it was hell considering it was his final year. He just wished the universe for at least granting this one thing.

»»»  
  
  


They just got back from the hospital, Yeonjun already declined multiple times that his condition wasn’t as serious as that but Soobin had insisted to take him to the hospital as he still saw blue all over the older’s body when he came for breakfast in the morning.

Yeonjun also mentally noted that he would _never,_ by any means, let the younger drove his car anymore if there was no emergency like this time—his legs were too sore to even step on the pedals.

Yeonjun would _always_ be the one behind the wheel, he screamed that multiple times as Soobin turned his car a second too late to the intersection or a centimeter too close to the gutter. And Soobin easily agreed. There was a reason why he didn’t trust himself to drive his own car even though he actually had it parked in the apartment’s basement for years. Walking was more eco-friendly anyway, no gas emission and all. Beside, he also had Yeonjun now who always drove him wherever, adding more to the reasons for him to not drive.

And now they were walking around _Sharosugil_ because suddenly Yeonjun was craving some street foods and they just so happened to be driving around that area, also he wanted to take a break from all the screaming in between life and death experience. 

“I will never trust you drive my car ever again after this. Or just drive in general with myself in it.” Yeonjun scoffed while munching his _tteokbokki_. “This is the first and the last time.”

Soobin linked his arms instinctively to the older’s for a support when he heard his low groan as Yeonjun put the weight on his feet for every steps. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

They were walking side by side, while Yeonjun was focusing on how to eat without hurting, Soobin was focusing on how the older could eat and walk comfortably that he still hadn’t touched his share of _tteokbokki_ they just bought not far from the parking lot. Yeonjun was very conscious of this, so he brought the _tteokbokki_ to the younger’s mouth so he could eat it, and Soobin instantly opened his mouth to receive it. They did that multiple times, as if it just came naturally for them.

“Choi Soobin?” There was a familiar voice calling out Soobin’s name interrupting them. “Choi Yeonjun?” The same voice called again.

Soobin turned his head to face the source and his eyes widened when he realized who called his name. “Jihoon-Sunbae?”

“What are you guys doing here? You know each other?” Jihoon asked, eyes boring on where their arms were linked a little bit too long. “Wait what happened to you, Yeonjun-ah?” 

Soobin untangled his arms off Yeonjun’s when he saw the other’s gaze, wavering. Yeonjun’s eyes flashed with hurt for a mere second, but Soobin seemed to not notice it a bit.

“Ah, we’re just walking around to eat some food after getting back from hospital. Yeonjun-Hyung fell from a chair when he danced.” Soobin said. “And yeah we know each other. It’s just recently though. We have mutual friend. Also because we actually live next door so we’re friends now.” Soobin explained.

Oh. _Oh_ . It wasn't bad, not at all. It was true they both already faced thick and thin together for don’t know, like, three months perhaps? But with that short amount of time, Yeonjun guessed being considered as the younger’s friend instead of just a neighbor next door was flattering enough. However it wasn't particularly good either, because Yeonjun definitely wanted more than _that_.

"Right. Haha yeah, friends, we’re friends." Yeonjun said while laughing unenthusiastically, trying to disperse his disappointment.

Of course, they were only friends in Soobin's eyes. Yeonjun knew it wasn't the younger's fault to think like that, he knew it was one hundred percent his fault to even have hope. 

“Though I’m more like his babysitter because Binie keeps coming to my apartment when he needs everything.” Yeonjun added out of nowhere, maybe to feed his own ego.

Soobin hit his arm playfully. “Junie-Hyung!”

Soobin and Jihoon kept talking to each other after that, not aware that Yeonjun didn't even try to listen to him anymore. Their voices already faded out, colliding with the background noise of the wind. He felt numb.  
  


»»»  
  


“Hey.” Jihoon started.

Yeonjun cleared his throat. “Hey, it’s been so long, hasn’t it?” That was so awkward.

They were both left at the table as Soobin went to the cashier, insisting to buy them some coffee when they realized they were talking in front of a coffee shop. Yeonjun was rising one brow at the offer because he knew damn well the younger didn’t like it, but Soobin hushed him when he tried to remind him about it. Meanwhile Jihoon was just gladly accepting it.

“Yeah, it’s been what? 8 years? Since you moved to New York.” Jihoon straightened his back. “When did you get back? To Korea, I mean.” 

Yeonjun looked up to think. “4 years ago? My parents divorced, and I missed Korea, I guess. So I just went back here with my mom.”

Jihoon furrowed his eyebrows. “Oh? I’m sorry to hear that. How are you though?”

“Nah, it’s okay. Life’s here actually great.” Yeonjun just shrugged. “How about you?” 

“I’ve never felt better.” Jihoon smiled with tight lips.

“So..” 

Yeonjun cursed himself. This was definitely so awkward. He didn’t know how to continue the conversation. Though there were times when they used to never run out of topics, everything had changed now. Eight years was a long time. 

He sighed. All he wanted was a Saturday date with Soobin—yeah Soobin didn’t need to know about that—but he was stuck here in between two love birds now. God hated him, he guessed.

It was silence for some times. Yeonjun kept glancing at the cashier counter to see Soobin still stood behind three people in queues.

“I like Soobin.” Jihoon suddenly said, dispersing the silence between both of them.

Yeonjun was a little bit surprised with the sudden confession from the other. Yes, he knew Jihoon most likely had feelings for Soobin. But what was with the way Jihoon said it to him?

“Huh?” Yeonjun could only respond.

Jihoon snorted. “Don’t act stupid now. I have known you for years. You like Soobin too, don’t you? I can see it in your eyes.”

Silence.

Jihoon opened his mouth again. “He said I was his first love. Can you believe that?” He stared at Yeonjun, studying his expression intently. “I don’t know about you, but I’m planning to ask him out soon.” 

Yeonjun still didn’t give out any verbal response and it made Jihoon felt even smaller. He laughed bitterly, arms crossed on his chest. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this.” He stared at Yeonjun again, with much lament this time. “We’re friends, right? Yeonjun-ah?”

Yeonjun flinched a little at the last sentence, but it wasn't easy to catch. He stared at his childhood best friends unreadably. “I don’t like him.” He paused, looking at Soobin from the distance waving his hands while grinning to the both of them. “I love him.” It was one thing saying in his mind, but it felt even more real when he said it out loud.

Yeonjun let out a loud sigh. “But I guess I can see he has feelings for you too. And just like what you said, you were his first love, and he’s pretty determined about it. I don’t think I can change that.” Yeonjun turned his face to look at Jihoon now. “Besides, you are my best friend.” It was bitter. Probably a lot more bitter than the espresso he ordered. Yeonjun wanted to throw up.

Jihoon was about to say something, but he didn’t continue it as Soobin already came back with their orders. Yeonjun quickly grabbed his coffee, gulping the bitterness down his system so maybe he could forget about everything he said a moment ago, and didn’t look up ever since.

  
  


»»»

  
  


“So you also studied in the same elementary and middle school as him? Then it meant that you also used to study at the same elementary school with Daehwi and I?” Soobin asked him immediately the moment they got into Yeonjun’s car. “Why didn’t you tell me you are best friends with Jihoon-Sunbae?”

“You never asked.” He shrugged. “Beside, you never said his name either. It’s always _sunbaenim_ this, _sunbaenim_ that. How would I know it was Park Jihoon.” Yeonjun said curtly, annoyance latched in his voice.

Soobin wouldn’t lie he was taken aback with the older’s sharp response. Therefore he didn’t say anything after, he just kept his head towards the front, focusing at the road upfront, but also mostly avoiding Yeonjun. The older seemed to have a bad mood the whole day. He had been frowning since they were walking around _Sharosugil_. The pain all over his body must be unbearable, Soobin thought.

Feeling he had to say something, Yeonjun opened his mouth. “But I know Jihoon likes you.” As soon as the words came out, Yeonjun immediately regretted it. He didn’t mean to say it like that. Really. The words felt bitter in his mouth. Why he kept saying bitter things for the past hours?

He never understood what happened to him every time Soobin brought up something about Jihoon. Or maybe he did. He perfectly understood why it always made his feelings and thoughts were too chaotic to think logically.

Soobin finally turned his head again to face the older as they got a red in the traffic, looking at him with unreadable gaze as he raised his eyebrows.

“He told me when you were on the cashier.” Yeonjun continued hurriedly, trying to ignore his strange feelings. “And you guys also look so good together.”

Soobin blinked and interrupted flatly while still looking at the road. “Do you mean to ask me to accept Jihoon-Sunbae’s feelings?” 

Actually Soobin was very aware of Jihoon’s feelings for him. The guy didn’t express it directly, but his attitude was clear enough. Soobin should have felt happy about it. That was what he wanted all this time, right? Park Jihoon was his first love after all, the first man to make his heart blossom. 

Then why was Soobin hesitating now? Why was he hesitating when he saw Yeonjun sitting on the passenger’s seat by his side, looking at him calmly and told him to accept Jihoon? 

Yeonjun returned Soobin's gaze uneasily. The younger looked at him with a look of disbelief. Almost sad. Why? The look in his eyes made Yeonjun's chest felt heavy. Like something just snatched the oxygen within the car that he couldn’t breathe properly. He was also suddenly gripped by feelings of guilt. Soobin’s question seemed to echo deeply in his brain. 

_Do you mean to ask me to accept Jihoon-Sunbae’s feelings?_

“Yes.” Yeonjun murmured hoarsely, his throat suddenly felt dry. “Accept him.” 

Yeonjun couldn't believe at what he just said. He cursed himself under his breath. Yeonjun was an idiot. A whole fucking idiot.

  
  


»»»

  
  


Yeonjun was frustrated. He collapsed onto the sofa when he returned to his apartment. He really didn't mean to get Soobin to accept Jihoon or something. There was one reason why he should oppose the two of them. There was literally one reason he should have not even thought about it in the first place.

He knew full well that Jihoon really liked Soobin. And Jihoon and Soobin were both his best friends—if he could put it like that. He just wanted them to be happy. True, all of that was true. But still he patted his chest in annoyance. 

God, why did his chest feel so stuffy? 

He was so restless that he wanted to punch something to vent his own frustration. Trying to calm down, he took a deep breath, but it only made his heart ache even more and it seemed so close to explode. That was when he suddenly realized and swore softly. He, Choi Yeonjun, had made a huge mistake. A really huge mistake. Because deep down, he knew, he already fell in love with Choi Soobin, and he couldn’t bear to let him go.

  
  


»»»

  
  


Soobin sat pensively in front of the TV that was broadcasting a comedy show, but his eyes were staring at it blankly. While the people on TV were roaring with laughter, Soobin remained motionless. 

_I know Jihoon likes you_ . _And you guys also look so good together_.

Soobin didn’t know how many times that sentence kept echoing in his brain. He couldn't stop it even though he tried really hard. 

_Yes. Accept him_.

Suddenly a tear rolled down his cheek. Soobin flinched and quickly wiped the tears with the back of his hand. Why was he suddenly crying? He admitted that Yeonjun’s last remark was indeed able to make Soobin stopped breathing for a few seconds. He could only stare at Yeonjun without blinking, somehow hoping he heard it wrong. Yeonjun couldn't have told him to accept Jihoon, could he? But at that moment Yeonjun looked back at him seriously, and Soobin realized that the guy was not joking. Though he really wished that time Yeonjun was actually joking instead.

»»»

  
  


Yeonjun closed his cellphone and resumed driving while daydreaming. For the past three weeks his own brain had betrayed him. Yeonjun actually found himself kept thinking about someone. Someone who always crossed his mind, someone who always unconsciously sought him, someone who made his feelings chaotic, someone with the name of Choi Soobin.

After Soobin driving him back together about three weeks ago, they rarely met and talked. Of course sometimes he ran into Soobin if they happened to come out of the apartment at the same time or got back home at the same time. However every time they met, Soobin simply responded to Yeonjun’s greeting briefly or smiled politely, not welcoming Yeonjun’s attempt to have a longer conversation.

Soobin was indeed still friendly, but Yeonjun felt that the younger was keeping a distance from him, maybe even avoiding him. And that was what made Yeonjun grumpy. He didn’t want Soobin to be like that to him. He wanted to talk to him, talk as if they had breakfast together every morning like they used to, but it seemed that his efforts were unsuccessful. When asked to talk, Soobin would only answer with one or two words and immediately avoided him. Soobin didn’t even ask him to drive or pick him up as he used to anymore.

Thinking about their talk last time in his car, Yeonjun remembered that he had asked Soobin to accept Jihoon. Until now he still regretted his words. He wondered if he already complied with his request? Had Jihoon already asked Soobin? Had Soobin already accepted Jihoon?

Anger arose in his heart and began to gnaw himself from within. Yeonjun closed his jaw and gripped the steering wheel tightly. He was a genius, wasn’t he? What a freaking genius. 

Then what now?

Yeonjun suddenly woke up from his reverie and looked at the road ahead. Where was he now? He was driving without knowing where he was going. He looked at the white building not far ahead. Wasn’t that the university library? Yeonjun was about to drive pass the building when he could make out a clear view of a figure behind the glass window at the corner where Soobin oftenly working on his assignments. The guy was packing his things to go. 

Yeonjun thought in surprise. All of these coincidences, maybe the universe was trying to tell him something, and he didn’t want to miss any more chances at that. He parked his car near the entrance door right away and ushered himself to walk into the building.

  
  


»»»

  
  


Soobin was about to push the library glass door when he saw another hand reached out from outside and pulled the door open first. He looked up and the thanks that had been on the tip of his tongue choked when he stared into the other's eyes. 

“Yeonjun-Hyung?”

Yeonjun smiled gleefully at him and Soobin’s breathing was held for a moment. Then he woke up from his daze and slipped out through the door that had been pushed open because someone else was going to come out too. 

Standing in front of the library building, Soobin shivered for a moment because of the wind that hit him. Then he turned to face Yeonjun, brushing a pinch of hair from his face. 

“Yeonjun-Hyung, what are you doing here?” He asked.

Yeonjun breathed and shrugged. “I was driving from my class. Then I saw you here, so I decided to stop by and take you to lunch together.”

“Oh.” Soobin was rather surprised. He didn’t exactly expect such an answer. Yeonjun looked just like before, asking Soobin to eat together with his eyes flashing and grinning from ear to ear like that. Not knowing what to think or say, Soobin remained silent.

For a moment Yeonjun only stared at Soobin, then cleared his throat. “So.” he said as he looked around. “You just finished working on your assignment?" 

Soobin turned to Yeonjun for a moment, then looked the other way. “Yes.” He replied.

“We haven’t eaten together for so long, have we?" Yeonjun scratched at the back of his neck. Why suddenly he got so awkward around the younger?

“Yeah, it’s close to final week, I’m quite busy with so many assignments.” Soobin lied, final week was still a month away.

“I see.” Yeonjun nodded. “So how about we go to lunch now?” He braved himself to ask.

“I can't today.”

“Why?” Yeonjun asked immediately.

“I have an appointment with someone else.” Soobin informed. 

Yeonjun was silent for a moment. “With whom?” He whispered lowly.

Before Soobin could even answer, someone's voice was heard calling out Soobin’s name. They both looked over at the sound and Yeonjun’s forehead quickly frowned to see who was walking toward them.

“Yeonjun-ah, how are you? What a coincidence that you are here.” Jihoon said after standing in front of the two of them.

“Oh, Jihoon.” Yeonjun replied halfheartedly. “What are you doing here?”

Jihoon turned to Soobin. “Soobin and I will go to lunch.” He said lightly. He looked back at Yeonjun. “Have you eaten yet? How about you come with us?”

The question sounded so much like a formality. Yeonjun himself could see at the other's eyes that he didn’t actually want him to come along to have lunch with them. But after thinking for a while and glancing at Soobin whom remained silent the whole time, Yeonjun decided he couldn’t let them go alone. Absolutely not. And Soobin couldn’t keep avoiding him. 

Finally he smiled. “Of course. I'm not busy either.” He said while ignoring the annoyance in Jihoon’s eyes.

  
  


»»»

  
  


“Many of my friends who ate here told me this place was very nice.” Jihoon said as they entered a small shop that was crowded with other university students at lunch time like this. 

“Really? I've never been here.” Soobin looked around for an empty spot while a waiter called out to welcome them. “But I think Sunbae is right. This place is very crowded.”

Yeonjun muttered something Soobin couldn't catch, but he continued to follow him obediently. They walked to the only table that was still empty. Because Jihoon immediately took the one seat facing Soobin, Yeonjun took the seat beside the younger then. 

“What do you want to eat?” Jihoon asked the two guys before him when a waiter came to ask for orders.

Soobin read the menu he was holding. “I don't know. According to Sunbae, what's good here?”

“I think _ramyeon_ is the most famous here.” Jihoon said, then reached across the table to open the page at types of _ramyeon_ on Soobin’s menu book. 

Yeonjun leaned closer to the younger. “How about this number four?”

“This one?” Soobin asked while reading the designated text where Yeonjun’s finger pointed at. “I think I want to try number seven instead.” Soobin said.

“Oh, yes.” Yeonjun said after looking at the picture of number seven in the menu. “Number seven looks pretty decent. But how about number four?”

“Why?”

“I want to try number four.” Yeonjun whined.

“Then why don't you choose number four yourself?” Soobin rose one brow.

“Because I also want to try number six. Come on, Soobinie, please?” Yeonjun looked at Soobin expectantly with glimmering eyes.

While the two guys were busy arguing, without them knowing, Jihoon was looking at them alternately with faint raised eyebrows and defeated eyes. Then as the realization came dawn on him, a thin grimace slowly appeared on his lips with full of sourness while he lowered his head and inhaled slowly.

“How is it, Binie?” Yeonjun urged again. “Don’t take too long the waiter is waiting.” 

“Fine. For me number four is also okay.” He turned to the waiter while showing the menu he was holding. “I’ll order number four, then Yeonjun-Hyung number six.” He turned to Jihoon and asked, “And what about you, Sunbae?”

“I’ll order number three.” Jihoon added.

After mentioning their orders, the waiter left them. Jihoon looked back at the two people in front of him. “Looks like the two of you are getting along very well.” He commented.

“Not really.” Soobin said.

“That's the way it is.” Yeonjun also said at the same time.

The different words that came out simultaneously made Soobin and Yeonjun stared at each other in silence. They stayed like that for some seconds until Jihoon cleared his throat and started a new conversation with a different topic and both of them eventually looked away.

When the waiter came to bring the order, Soobin stared at the piles of leeks that accompanied on top of the _ramyeon_ , then he turned to Yeonjun. Before he could open his mouth, the older had said first. “I know. Just give it to me.”

Jihoon looked at Yeonjun, then turned to Soobin who scooped the leeks carefully. “What’s wrong?” He asked, not understanding.

“Oh, I don't like leeks.” Soobin said without looking up. 

Seeing Soobin moving the leeks from his bowl to Yeonjun’s made Jihoon’s brow furrowed. He didn't know Soobin didn't like leeks, and that awareness made him even more disturbed. Because all these times when they ate together, Soobin always ate everything he ordered. Was there any more things the younger actually didn’t like that Jihoon never knew about?

Trying to get rid of the resentment that suddenly appeared, Jihoon changed the subject. “By the way, we haven't had a drink together and talked for a long time after you left to United States.” He said, staring at Yeonjun. “With the others too.”

Yeonjun thought for a moment. “That's true. We really have to find time. Since I moved out, I haven’t had time to call and ask how you all were.”

“We’re fine.” Jihoon said flatly. “We thought you forgot about us.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t contact any of you.” Yeonjun moved up his bangs in mild distress. “Everything was so overwhelming that time. And I was sure you were all quite busy with the upcoming final exams. So I didn’t want to burden you all more with my problems and just held it in.” Yeonjun exhaled.

“How is your father?” Jihoon asked, completely failing to sympathize.

Yeonjun let out a low groan but then he smiled, however it didn’t reach his eyes. “Hey, this _ramyeon_ looks so delicious. Let’s just dig in?”

Soobin didn’t miss out the sadness which was latching on those words. So he looked up from eating his _ramyeon_ and reached out to hold Yeonjun’s hand under the table tightly. He might not really know the full story, but he could feel the other’s frustration everytime someone brought up a topic about his family, especially his father. He didn’t pry, but he trusted him enough. Soobin looked at Yeonjun’s eyes with a reassuring smile. This time, they didn’t look away, hands holding each other to give a silence support.

  
  


»»»  
  


Soobin still didn’t know why his mind decided to keep a distance from the electric blue haired guy. However yesterday afternoon when Yeonjun came to the library to look for him, then they had eaten and talked together like before, Soobin realized how much he wanted to see the older. Going back avoiding him would feel strange after that, wouldn’t it? But why did he even start avoiding him in the first place?

Soobin knew why. He just didn’t want to openly admit it. If he returned being close to Yeonjun, it was Soobin himself who was at risk of heart attack just by how much every little thing the older did could make his heart doing a somersault. 

However he also remembered their conversation in the older’s car. How Yeonjun asked him to be with Jihoon. How could he even say that? He shook his head vigorously, not willing to dwell with the strange feeling any longer. At times like this he hated his mind that likes to drift without direction.

While fixing his long coat that was slightly open due to the blow of the wind that was a bit too hard that shot him chills. Soobin momentarily stopped in front of his apartment building and looked up at the gloomy night sky. He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, white steam coming out of his mouth and disappearing before his eyes.

“Stupid.” He grumbled to the shadow of Yeonjun’s face in the night sky. “Stupid.”

With unsteady steps he climbed the stairs of the entrance of the apartment building then reaching out to push the elevator button after he got inside. 

“Soobinie.” The heavy voice that suddenly sounded so close behind him made Soobin gasped and jumped in surprise. He spun so fast as his eyes widened in shock staring at a figure with electric blue hair standing right before him.

“Yeonjunie-Hyung?”

Yeonjun frowned. “I’m sorry. Did I surprise you?” 

Soobin noted that he hated seeing the older frown. He shook his head. “No, Hyung. It’s okay.”

Yeonjun instinctively pushed Soobin by his waist when the elevator door opened and walked them inside. Soobin held his breath at the sudden contact, and he tried so hard not to whine when the older retreated his hand after.

“Uh, happy birthday, Binie.” Yeonjun said after some seconds in silence.

“You know?” He gasped. “Thank you, Hyung.”

“Of course, I know.” Yeonjun said mindlessly. “It’s you.” He whispered after, so low, but not low enough for Soobin to miss that.

The ding sound chimed as the elevator finally reached at the fifth floor. But before Soobin could walk to his apartment after getting off the said elevator, Yeonjun reached out to grab his hand, stopping him. 

“Also, uhm, are you free tonight? D-do you, do you want to eat with me?” He scratched at the back of his neck. “I-I mean, I just bought these _tteokbokki_ and I think I bought too much for me to eat it alone so I just think maybe you want too or I can also cook anything for you if you don’t want _tteokbokki_ it’s your birth—“

“Yes, Hyung.” He answered, resulting a smile appearing on the older’s face, and Soobin just realized how much he missed looking at that smile.

  
  


»»»

  
  


Jihoon gave Soobin a moment to process, while still searching for something within the younger’s eyes, anything that showed what he had always been hoping for. But nothing was really there, he couldn’t see anything, for the very first time—or maybe it was happening all long he just never minded it before—Jihoon couldn’t read Soobin’s eyes. It was unreadable. The silence was too long stretched, and Jihoon still couldn’t see anything.

Jihoon laughed it out, ignoring the pang on his chest that started to wreck him second by second. He tried so hard to sound normal, to not show even the slightest of bitterness lingering within his voice.

“I knew it.” Jihoon’s voice croaked.

Soobin finally opened his mouth. “Sunbae, I’m sorry—“

“Soobin, please stop saying sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I’m sorry.” Soobin whispered.

“No, please, stop.” Jihoon exasperated. “I know what you’re gonna say so please, stop.” He was so close to tears, but he still held it in. “I was too late, wasn’t I?”

“I-I just, Sunbae.” Soobin opened his mouth in attempt to say something, but he closed it again. He tried to find and piece out every words to say, then took a deep breath. “I can’t, Sunbae. I’m so sorry. I thought I had the same feeling as you but turned out I just loved the idea of having you as my first love. I may love you ten years ago, but I guess, everything has changed. I’m so sorry, Jihoon-Sunbae.“ He ducked his head. “I love someone else.”

Jihoon let out a loud sigh. He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated. He was faltering now, mentally cursing himself for taking time too long to finally muster up the courage. He already sensed it. But parts of him were still hoping that none of the things he came to realize was true.

“I’m so sorry I think I better be going.” Soobin was already standing, inching away from Jihoon’s touch.

Jihoon nodded relently. “Is it Yeonjun?”

Soobin ducked his face to avoid looking at the older pained expression. He hadn’t said it out loud before. But right now, it felt so right to do. “Yes, it’s Yeonjun-Hyung.” He nodded. “I really am sorry, Sunbae.”

Jihoon looked at Soobin’s wrenched shoulder, understanding the situation. “Okay, yeah, okay.” He eventually gave up. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have waited for too long. Maybe if he had confessed sooner, they would still be just fine together. Jihoon never regretted something more than anything now, as he watched Soobin’s back furthering and furthering away, running out of his apartment hurriedly, without even looking back.

»»»  
  


It wasn’t a surprise for him that Jihoon confessed his feelings, not to sound like an overconfident guy, but the truth was he could already see it coming by the way the other acted. He already expected it would happen sooner or later. Jihoon was like an open book, which he was able to read what it said and wanted easily anytime. Rather than that, what surprised him was how it didn’t leave any effect on Soobin as he thought hearing those three words was what all he wanted since almost 10 years ago. 

Once Jihoon let out a clear _I love you_ , Soobin wasn’t so sure to respond about it. He didn’t understand how those words didn’t create any sparks in him nor excited him either. His heart kept beating at the same pace, there was no butterflies on his stomach. Though Jihoon was pouring all his genuine word, it just sounded like a bland unmeaningful phrases which went to his right ear and then got out of his left ear as quick.

Jihoon was a nice guy, but Soobin still felt something was off. Because Soobin thought Jihoon was what he had been searching for; his first love. 

But then there was Yeonjun, with all his loud and brightness, he came like he was supposed to be there from the first time. As if he was some kind of puzzle piece that completed the hole in Soobin’s life.

Because Yeonjun entered his life.

Because Yeonjun cooked him breakfast every morning. Because Yeonjun invited him to watch cheesy movies that Soobin always wanted to but too shy to ask. Because Yeonjun listened to his midnight rambles even though it was apparent that he was tired from the dancing. Because who knew since when he felt dependent on Yeonjun. Because somehow he felt happy every time Yeonjun smiled at him.

There was this secret which Soobin always tried to keep it away since he found it out by himself in the middle of the night, when the darkness of his bedroom had made him looking at the hollowness black ceiling with an outburst light in his heart. No matter how hard he tried to resist, he never could. It had already grown too strong, rooting deep within his soul that he couldn't plug it away.

It was too dark, the only source of light was the street lamp outside his apartment, sparks of warm yellow streaks tried to seek in within the gaps where the curtain had failed to cover the windows. 

With so little light, however, Soobin felt brightness spreading around, when he thought about those sharp twinkling eyes staring into him, or those strands of electric blue hair he always mourned to stroke, or those pouty lips he wanted to lock in his memory forever, or even everything that resembled that guy; radiant, he felt bright, as if he didn't need the sun anymore as long as that guy was there living within his reach, he wouldn't care about anything else.

The clock was ticking, counting every seconds without a care when he came to the realization how he was already damned, that he, Choi Soobin, had fallen in love with Choi Yeonjun.

  
  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  
  


Yeonjun and Soobin sat down on the couch at the living room of the older's apartment, side by side. They talked about anything and everything they could think of. Yeonjun, as always, did the most of the talking between both of them, hands moving around the air to demonstrate some details, while chattering about his classes and how he should have got scolded for sneaking snacks into the studio— _but, thank god_ ; he said with a dramatic gasp, he was saved by his skills of human communication. That was his pretentious way to say that he knew he was handsome and he used it as his advantage to get away with every shit he did.

Soobin laughed, not because the guy next to him was showing cute gestures, but because he could actually picture Yeonjun doing that silliness. Or maybe it was both. Soobin wasn’t so sure. It didn’t really matter after all. All that mattered was that Yeonjun made him happy even with a tiny little thing.

Yeonjun continued with another story how he almost slipped at the toilet while running because he couldn't hold his bladder anymore, and then another one about how he meant to skip class because he wanted to play league of legends at the computer laboratory; _the connection at campus was the best, Binie, sue me_ —but the professor got into the class earlier than he expected.

And then another, and then another, until they both felt tired after laughing over and over again. Their laugh died slowly until all they could hear was the sound of the television playing some shows they didn’t even watch as background sound. 

Both of them stayed in silence, chest heaving up then down as they breathed steadily. 

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Fi–, the count stopped at the 5th second when Soobin finally spoke up about something he always avoided for the past days.

Soobin let out a loud sigh. “He confessed to me, Hyung.” He couldn’t lie how it still bugged him, that the thing he should have been happy about turned out being a burden for him.

For a second, Soobin thought he saw jealousy in the other’s eyes, but maybe he was hallucinating since that was only what he wanted, maybe his brain tricked him to it to lessen the pain in his poor heart.

“Who?” Yeonjun asked, eyes boring to the television but not exactly watching it as his mind was wandering around not letting him be in peace.

Soobin snorted. “Of course Jihoon-Sunbae, who else.”

“Don’t _who else_ me, I saw some love letters and some torn paper with phone numbers on it inside your trash weeks ago. People still do this kind of thing?” Yeonjun laughed it out, though he could actually feel the pain suddenly harboured inside his heart.

Soobin hit his chest playfully. “Hyung, that’s like, a breach of privacy!”

Yeonjun turned his body to pinch the younger’s squishy cheeks. “A breach of privacy is _you_ walking into _my_ apartment every morning to wake me up just so you can have a free breakfast.” He might be trying to say it curtly, but he actually loved it, he enjoyed every morning he spent with the other’s presence. Even though Soobin might only use him as a free personal cook, he didn’t mind. How could he mind when he could see the perfect view of his smile the first thing in the morning in return?

Soobin tried to peel off the older’s hands from his cheeks. “Shut up. You love me, Hyung.”

Yeonjun froze at that. His mind suddenly went hundreds miles per hour. His tongue was tied, he couldn’t decide any form of words to respond. He stared at the guy in front of him intently. He really wanted to reply with a loud _yes, I love you_ , but he was too afraid for the consequences he had to suffer after it.

His hands were still on Soobin’s cheeks stroking softly, not really remember when they stopped pinching them. He could feel the tension, as 10 seconds already passed since the younger said his last words, he could see those favorite dark brown orbs staring back at his very own, searching, trying to read what he might have in stored.

Maybe, just maybe, Yeonjun could bear the consequences later. Maybe it was worth the try. Or maybe there was no consequences at all. There was just so many maybe’s circling in the back of his mind, which eventually set the torch of his courageous side. 

“Yeah, I do.” He said after almost a minute of silence. “I love you, Choi Soobin.”

Soobin’s hands felt clammy after hearing the _unexpectedly_ expected confession in a sudden. He kept chugging them into his pockets, tried to sweep away the sweat. However Yeonjun was no help, he was still holding his face so he wasn’t able to ignore him then. Soobin could feel the older's stare boring at him after realizing he took too long to reply. 

Soobin laughed, too forcedly this time. “Stop joking, Hyung!” 

“I’m not joking though.” He sighed, looking straight into the younger’s eyes. “My words at that time,” Yeonjun paused for a moment, then continued, “I wish I could take those words back.” 

Soobin didn’t realize he was holding his breath. His heart also stopped for a moment, then returned pounding as fast as the express train. His attention was focused on Yeonjun’s last sentence, what did he mean? Soobin tried holding back his hopes that began to soar, he didn’t want to get too hopeful, the hope that was thrown back on the ground would be very painful. But what did Yeonjun possibly mean?

“I know it sounds so selfish of me after everything I said to you before about accepting Jihoon and probably you think I’m a bad friend for saying this. But..” Yeonjun trailed off. Was he actually gonna do this? He licked his lips that suddenly felt so dry. 

“But can’t you just forget about Jihoon and start looking at me, Binie?” There was silence for a moment, just two of them staring through right each other’s eyes. “What should I do to make you see me?” Yeonjun whispered.

“Nothing.” Soobin breathed out. He smiled, working his hand to card the older’s bang that hid his beautiful eyes behind it so he could look at him better. “You don’t have to do anything. Because I’m already looking at you, Junie-Hyung.”

Soobin saw the older’s eyes widened in surprise. “What?”

“I love you too.” Soobin stated firmly.

“B-but Jihoon?”

Soobin let out a loud sigh. “I thought I loved him too. But I guess this cute electric blue head with foxy eyes already got into my heart instead.” He stroked Yeonjun’s hair softly, trying to give out all the feelings he couldn’t explain with words, but stopped when he saw tears started streaming down the older’s face. “Why are you crying?” He asked worriedly, wiping his cheeks as fast as he could, fingers trembling as he was afraid to hurt him.

Yeonjun giggled in between his sobs. “It’s happy tears!”

“Good then. Because I’m so happy too.” 

“I love you, Binie.” Yeonjun said, surely this time.

"I love you so much more, Hyung." Soobin smiled, caressing the older's cheeks tenderly as Yeonjun leaned to the touch automatically, as if his skin knew that he always yearned for it.

Soobin closed the gap that separated both of them, slowly placing his lips onto the other's. It was a light one, but it was enough for Yeonjun to feel his heart bursting out.

  
  


»»»

  
  


"You look happy."

Yeonjun snickered at the comment. "And why do you sound like it's a foul for me to be happy?"

"Because you are a giggly mess for 6 hours straight already even though Mr. Jung yelled at you before.” Woojin pointed his finger towards Yeonjun’s face. “ And look at that, even your smile is too wide! I'm creeped out now."

"Woojin stop being annoying challenge; failed." He scowled.

"What the hell? Why do you suddenly sound like a high schooler?” Woojin brought his phone to his ear. “Hello 911, I believe some aliens already abducted my friend and the one with me now is his replacement. His name is Choi Yeonjun, please help me to find the real him."

Yeonjun snorted. "You know damn well we live in South Korea, and 911 doesn't actually work, right?"

"911 Sir, it keeps talking to me." Woojin said to his phone, ignoring him.

Yeonjun just shook his head and continued his routine. "Whatever."

  
  


»»»

  
  


“Hyung.” Soobin called out from the entrance door. “I’m home.”

“Hello, Baby.” Yeonjun responded without looking up from the phone on his hands. 

“Baby? Soobinie? Why are you so quiet?” Yeonjun said again, eventually tossed his phone to the side. When Soobin was still quiet, he looked at the younger and laughed immediately when he realized. “Are you flustered? Look your cheeks are turning red!”

Soobin scoffed, walking away to the kitchen. “Shut up for fuck sake.”

“Oh so my little Binie loves to be called _baby_ , doesn't he?”

Soobin thumped his legs. “I’m not little! I can trample you in one try!”

Yeonjun stood up and brought Soobin closer by his waist. Soobin let him. “Okay, Big Baby.”

“For the love of god, shut up, Yeonjun-Hyung!”

“Yes, Baby.”

Yeonjun stared at the guy he had been loving so much for the past months—or if he actually counted everything—years. Then he averted his gaze to the younger’s lips for a while before leaning closer. He could feel Soobin’s heart was racing and he was breathing very deliberately, anticipating it. 

It wasn't their first kiss by far, but as Yeonjun pushed him down onto the couch, and sat on his lap facing towards the younger, Soobin was still taken aback for a second, surprised by the sudden eagerness from the older. But he didn’t give out any sign of protests.

Yeonjun brought his head closer, forehead briefly rested on Soobin’s, whilst he gave the younger this very serious look, and muttered in a stern voice. “I love you, Baby, so much.” Yeonjun didn’t even wait for any response because then he quickly leaned in again and gently kissed Soobin’s forehead, then eyes, then nose, then right cheek, then his left, and finally he planted one right in the middle where his lips were, and didn't stop.

As they kissed, Soobin moved his hand to the older’s neck, and Yeonjun almost shuddered when he felt the younger’s hand on his skin. They made out for a while and it was like they were in a haze. 

Soobin was so excited, and responsive, and nervous, and it was almost like that feeling when they just dated and he kissed him for the first time. Nerves, and excitement, and chest heaving, and everything was vaguely hazy or fuzzy because it was so hot they were not thinking clearly anymore. Soobin reacting like that made Yeonjun felt like it was the first time again, in the way he felt like his entire world exploded. It felt natural and pleasurable, and he was sure he could never get enough of it. It was like the world stopped and they just melted together.

»»»

  
  
  


Soobin arrived in front of the business school building for only less than 2 minutes by running from his class, despite the distance from his lecture building at third floor to the main entrance. He arrived out of breath, hands on his knees with agony displaying on his face.

"What the hell, Choi Soobin?"

"I need that book, talking later. I‘m almost late and the class will have a quiz preparation for exam next week."

"Okay, here." Yeonjun took the book from his side and handed it to him.

Soobin reached out for the book from Yeonjun’s hand without looking. "Where did you find it? I’ve been searching all over my apartment and I couldn’t find it.”

“It’s because it was under my bed. Last night you threw your bag mindlessly because you were so eager to fuc—” Before Yeonjun could finish, Soobin already cut him out with his loud shriek and a hand on his mouth to stop the older from continuing the details. “Hyung, shut up! We’re in public! How could you say that kind of thing easily! What if someone hear that?” For someone who was out of breath, Soobin was surely strong enough to say those all within one shot.

Yeonjun tried to hide his smile looking at the younger’s funny expression, “Nobody’s here anyway.” He shrugged. “You said talking later, and you’re almost late.”

“Oh my god, you're right! Anyway,” Soobin put the book inside his bag for a second, before pulling Yeonjun into the corner to hide behind a big column, catching Yeonjun by the hoodie and crashed his lips on the older's. 

Yeonjun was shocked at first, he obviously didn't see any of that coming. Not that he hated it, he loved it actually, so much that his heart swelled until he felt his chest couldn't handle it anymore. So he closed his eyes after seconds he regained his composure, and kissed Soobin back with all his might.

Soobin was the one to break the kiss only to pinch both of Yeonjun's cheek. “I'm so thankful for this. As much as I want to continue, I really need to go to my class or else Professor Kang will whoop my ass for being late.”

“Okay, but please be careful, don’t run carelessly again.” Yeonjun said while stroking the younger’s hair.

“Yes, Junie-Hyung.” Soobin tried to kiss Yeonjun again, however this time it landed on his nose instead, resulting a giggle from the older. “I love you so much. I'll talk to you later. And please practice hard for your solo stage next week instead of thinking about me. Bye, Hyung!”

And that was how easy it was for Yeonjun to fall even deeper into Soobin pits of love.

  
  
  


»»»  
  
  


“I'm so starving I can even eat a truck. Please tell Daehwi to drive you faster.” Yeonjun whined while laying down on his bed.

“Yes, your majesty.” Daehwi responded sarcastically in the background.

“Love, do we have rice at home? Can you check it for me?” Soobin asked lightly.

Yeonjun choked on his own spit. “That's new.”

“What's new? Do we have rice or not? I need to know do I also have to buy rice with me.”

Yeonjun stared at the ceiling with a wide grin plastered on his face. “You're calling me _love_ , that's new.”

Soobin scoffed. “Hey Mr. Old Man, I'm in a hurry. Can't you just check out the rice? Food comes first before hoe.”

Yeonjun stood up and walked over the kitchen to open the cabinet where he saved the stocks. “I hate you, Choi Soobin. And yes, we have rice.”

“That's what matters. I'll get home soon. See you later, _My Love_.” Soobin giggled.

Yeonjun could hear Daehwi’s barfing sound from the phone in the background after muttering _that’s so fucking cheesy you’re both disgusting_ , and Yeonjun smiled before ending the call.

  
  
  


»»»

  
  
  


Snow had started falling from the sky for almost a week, piling up on every surface, creating a vast white solid ocean. The air was freezing, more with the wind that shoot right through the skin, bringing chills all over the body. However it still didn’t stop Soobin from dragging Yeonjun to go outside, breathing in open air after being confined in the older’s apartment for days after the final week ended; _too cold_ Yeonjun reasoned.

They were walking side by side, taking a stroll towards the _ramyeon_ place near their apartment. Soobin cursed himself for not wearing hand gloves as he was too excited to get out of the older’s apartment without the proper attire for the harsh winter cold.

“I have hot packs in my pocket.” Yeonjun informed.

Soobin turned his head to face him so he could hear him better. “Hmm?”

“You forgot your gloves, your hands are freezing, I have hot packs in my pocket. I see two problems and one solution.” Yeonjun wiggled his eyebrows.

Soobin laughed at that. “Just say you want to hold my hand and go.” He put his hand inside Yeonjun’s right pocket without any resistance and was immediately met with warmness which was Yeonjun’s hand itself. And also a hot pack. But for Soobin’s love sense subjectivity, the older’s hand was way warmer. 

However before Soobin could even hold Yeonjun’s hand perfectly, the older pulled his hand out of his pocket in a sudden. “Wait a second. I don’t know if it fits on your giant hand, but wear this for your right hand.” He took off the glove from his right hand and reached for Soobin’s right hand instead, putting it on him. “Here. At least your hand is in.” Yeonjun grinned.

Soobin was looking at the whole act fondly, with full smile plastered on his face, eyes creating a crescent as Yeonjun’s hand finally got back inside the pocket and proceeded to hold his hand tightly. Warm started seeping into his skin, spreading to every inch of his body, including his heart. And Soobin loved this feeling.

They continued their walk to the _ramyeon_ place for another 10 minutes, hand in hand, with comforting silence enclasping them. They started walking faster once they arrived at the said block as the cold was starting to get unbearable. The bell above the entrance door chimed when they pushed in, embracing themselves to the heated room inside.

They asked a table for two, ordered their usual favorite _ramyeon_ , and waited for it to come. As Yeonjun looked around the room, he saw a new item that wasn’t there before, placed right at the corner next to the aquarium and bonsai plant; a black piano.

Yeonjun asked the waiter whether he could use the piano and he said yes, his cue to walk towards the said black piano. Soobin was following him as he sat on the chair and moved his fingers for a warming up. 

Soobin sat beside him. “You can play piano?” He asked in disbelief.

Yeonjun nodded eagerly. “Yeah. I used to practice piano a lot because my dad is a pianist. Have I not told you yet?”

Soobin shook his head. “No. I guess I’m still learning something new about you every single day.”

“He wanted me to be a pianist too. But I guess, I love dance more.” He smiled, a genuine one, as if he already came to a peace after all the fights between his father and his dream to be a dancer then.

He pushed some of the tiles to check the sound first, then started playing the some random song. But actually it wasn’t random at all. The moment Yeonjun started playing, Soobin’s heart clenched so hard, he stared at the older intently the whole time the older let his fingers dancing on the piano tiles, playing a beautiful piece that sparked a specific memory from his brain. Tears started accumulating in his eyes, more than ready to fall.

“You know this song?” Soobin was fast to ask once Yeonjun finished the song, voice a little bit wavering, although he already tried to compose his cord to come out as normal as possible. 

“Yes? I made it in middle school.” Yeonjun started playing again, seemingly not aware of Soobin’s changed demeanor. “It was my first year in middle school but I had to go back to my elementary school with my friends,” He paused to breathe, “With Jihoon too, for some stupid thing we did back then. But the others took too long so I went to the music room and I just happened to make it there.”

Soobin might not be the best in some kind of music field, but he tried to search for the piece that Yeonjun played for almost 10 years. Because that was the piece he heard in his 6th grade in elementary school, the piece he heard on the day he found a yellow hoodie guy playing piano in the music room. He tried to search the song half of his lives but it was fruitless then. Until now.

“I never really played it again after that time, so congratulations you are the first listener of this song!” Yeonjun grinned, but he tilted his head right away after remembering something. “Wait, actually no. I think you’re the second listener, because that day there was this little boy watching me playing. He was so cute, he stumbled upon a table and fell when he was startled. I don’t think we ever got to talk because his friend called him out that he had to rush.”

This part was exactly where it went tricky. Soobin never told anyone about how he met his first love, the yellow hoodie guy who played piano in the music room, other than Daehwi and Jihoon himself, in which experience the second person strangely couldn’t recall it ever happened. 

Everything started dawning on him. All recollections of past events, finally came crashing down into his mind. He looked at the guy who was playing the same piano piece that he and him only knew fondly. He smiled, though the heater of the shop wasn’t so great, he could feel warm creeping in every inches of his body, spreading like a wildfire gradually, but firm.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something wrong? Is the song that bad?” Yeonjun questioned him warily.

Soobin just shook his head “No.”

“No?” Yeonjun looked at him in confusion.

He sighed. “I love you, Yeonjunie-Hyung.”

Yeonjun furrowed his eyebrows. “What’s with you suddenly?”

Soobin pouted. “What? I can’t even say I love you to my boyfriend now?”

“No, that’s not it.”

Soobin inched closer, taking the other’s hand on his. “I just want you to know that I love you so much.”

Yeonjun stared at their both hands, and clasped his to hold the younger. He moved his gaze towards Soobin’s eyes, smiling. “I know, Binie. I know. I love you too.”

“I’m so happy.” Soobin leaned his body to put his head on Yeonjun’s shoulder.

Yeonjun let him, then putting his head on top of Soobin’s. “Hmm?”

“I’m so happy that I met you.” Soobin said. “I’m so happy that I met you _again_.” He said, lower this time.

  
  
  


«««  
  
  


They were already waiting impatiently not far from the gate when Jihoon finally joined them with frown on his face. 

Wooyoung scoffed. “What took you so long? Did you take dump?”

Yohan snickered when the long-waited guy from the toilet walked fast passing them, showing the clear view of his back. “What happened to your back?”

Jihoon grunted. “Some boys playing soccer at the field but the ball landed on my back.” His hand reached to the spot where the remnants of the incident were perfectly seen. “It hurt so bad.”

Wooyoung scrunched his nose in disgust. “The mud! Eww, it’s so dirty. Look!” He pulled Jihoon’s shirt, trying to show him but failed as it was at his blind spot.

“Something needs to be done. We can’t go back with his shirt dirty like that. The teacher will be suspicious.” Yohan tried to wipe the dirt off Jihoon’s shirt with his handkerchief, but creating a new traces of dirt instead, which definitely made it look worse.

“We don’t have time for you to change, we only have half an hour left before they realized we were gone. We still have class after this.” Mark reminded them.

Yeonjun took off his yellow hoodie and threw it to Jihoon. “Here, wear my hoodie to hide it.”

Jihoon caught it. “Thanks, Yeonjun.” He wore the yellow hoodie immediately while grinning. “I’ll give it back to you tomorrow!”

Yeonjun just shrugged. “Yeah, whatever.”

  
  


»»»

“Binie.”

“Yes, Hyung?”

“Just move in with me. You’re always here anyway.”

“Okay.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay!!! i finally finished writing this as it comes to an end. *pat my self on the back* 
> 
> thank you for everyone who read this story, it had been quite long i think? it took me almost two months to complete everything. thank you for being patient with me ajhsgdgdg 😭😭😭
> 
> please tell me what do you think about this in the comment. i really appreciate everything. once again thank you so much everyone!!! ❤️
> 
> also please stay healthy in amidst all of this virus outbreak. dont forget to wash your hand!!! 💕💕


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